Monday, November 1, 2010

what are you doing at 13:37?

I've asked myself this question often when I'm gazing at the clock and that time approaches. I find, more often than not; what I'm doing at that particular time often defines what I'm doing with my day; and how productive I am. For instance, at the moment I'm clearing up a lot of my tasks for the coming week, I'm starting with the small stuff. I'm also trying to get into a rhythm today, because one thing is that since wednesday/thursday of last week I've not particularly applied to many jobs (well any), and I've been busy with 'other' things). Today, I'm searching, and I'm also trying to reduce my GReader backlog, which never seems to go down. I think I'm coming to the point where I must admit that I'm falling a bit behind. Today I'm struggling a bit; the past few weeks were good in that I exceeded targets, and I also was setting a lot to do for myself.

Last night my mouse died, ugh, this is a bother; especially considering that my laptop is fucked enough as it is with all the faltering systems and diagnostic failures going on.

So, this morning, I made a decidedly initiative-taking action and I left the house around 8:40; I went to the local PC world, and then bought a new mouse. I then walked around a bit to check out laptops and things, and then I also had some burger king. I know what you are thinking, it's evil and the calories are horrifically high. I also had a substantial lunch after a BK breakfast. I'm within calorie target (I think) but I am going to not eat for the rest of the day to make up for it. I also made some change for counselling tomorrow (£5 notes are hard to get without buying something), so it was a justifiable expense.

I'm pretty glad that I got a new mouse, although all the new fancy features do not work. The installation programme keeps fucking up. So most of today I've been searching for jobs, and clearing google reader; with some additional procrasturbation. I am less upset compared to last night. A girl I chat to online asked me 'out' since she is in the city on thursday (also intern day, and the day I'm going to see Rachmaninov), as well as being shy, and the fact that I embarrassingly told her my masturbating habits; I'm not sure if I can look her in the eye. Perhaps I might be too 'busy' that evening. All the same; I will quite enjoy Rachmaninov on thursday.

I was also thinking (on the job front) that it has taken a while to hear back from the HR people I contacted last week. My presumption is that the officer I'm dealing with works part time, as when I email her often.

(note: the phrase 'part time' gave me a trigger, so I stopped typing and purged, after some deliberation).

Perhaps this week will bring good news; in the form that I'll start working and earning my keep, even if its at least £20 a shift; money is money, and 5 days work equates to at least £100 in the bank. I can't beat that; well, I could with a job that paid £20,000 a year.

I purged just earlier, and now my head is a little spinny. That trigger was a little bit too strong to cope with. As usual, there was some blood, well, I say 'some'. I feel tired now. I suppose that's to be expected since I've just expunged chemical energy out of my mouth. I purged because I wanted to cope. I didn't purge because of weight issues. But that certainly helps too.

Anyway, I better get on. I think when I started writing this post I wanted to emphasise that it was positive that I have this job interview tomorrow; and I might hear back from HR. Now I can't focus on anything, purging does that to a person.

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