Friday, December 25, 2015

i hate how my friends refer to the whatsapp chat group as a blog.


totally related to this earlier remark. I just googled the meaning to the word 'passive-aggressive'. I wrote the meaning on my notepad just now:

...of or denoting or personally characterised by indirect resistance to the demands of others and an avoidance of direct confrontation
Dear Diary,

It's christmas day.

I remember it last year.

This year is another year. Life has changed for many around me. Certainly my life has too.

I think I had a realisation yesterday.

I'm disappointed in myself that I couldn't be the best version of myself.

I'm disappointed in the world around me for not giving me the chance to be the best person that I could be.

But foremost, I am responsible for making my life and myself. I made who I am someone that I don't always like and someone who is flawed. I can't place the blame on that on anyone else.

I try through the day to be some kind of best version of myself. THat involves eating right, being as nice as I can to people, and pushing myself at work and the gym. I am not so dedicated in my personal affairs at being the best person that I could be.

Perhaps that's something I need to work on.

I'm sitting at my desk. I'm listening to Beethoven on Spotify, I have a beethoven playlist. I'm around all the things in myroom and surrounded by my personal affects.

Perhaps that is the vest that I can be right now. Maybe next year could be better.

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Today I packed up and sent off two Christmas presents to people who dislike me. I did it with no malice.

That wasn't easy for me. If it felt hard, that implies that it was the noble thing to do right?