Monday, April 30, 2018

going back to where it began

I woke up on a Friday. I didn't manage to make coffee as I planned. I went to Bristol University via Paddington (after a close call) to deliver a talk about breaking into Journalism. I gave a presentation for 20 minutes and then walked in the link corridors to get to LT3 and get out of LT3. It was just the same as it was in the old days - well a bit different.

I walked around Bristol University and campus. I went to the old departments and visited my old memories. I walked the old paths that exist in my memories, seeing a living version of what I knew in my mind and what belonged to my old self. It is no longer who I am now. I began to get tired and [the first girlfriend] arrived to pick me up. [first girlfriend] took me to the Cotswolds. I ended up at her place and then met [her husband]. We put up a Gazebo and then we went to a place called The Priory to eat. I ate fish and chips.

We drove back to [first girlfriend's] place, I went back to the hotel. I spent some time with [first girlfriend's] walking around the suspension bridge, talking, having a heart to heart. We then cuddled for a bit, had a shower and were intimate. [first gf] left early. I on my own. I didn't sleep much but I did eventually sleep.

I slept late but woke early. It was a Saturday. It was the next day.

It's a Monday, 1am right now. I'm thinking about what all of it meant. It was an intense and interesting experience. I gave my advice and inspiration to up and coming types.

I said to myself as I walked around Clifton that I really just wanted to move on.

I'm now staring at my Alienware 13. Wondering what moving on looks like.

Monday, April 9, 2018

Dear Diary,

I miss when I could write more often in this journal.

Quite frankly, my life has changed far too significantly to be able to commit to the old form of confessional writing. Also, Lena Dunham has ruined it for everyone my age.

On my google calendar I have a notification that is rolling, to write down 3 things that are positive. That motivates me enough to continue writing in this blog.

I suppose I'll do a take of the week:

  • I've been quite physically active lately. So much that I have injured myself in several places right now. I need to skip the gym for a while.
  • I've been asked to think about my strengths as a person. I suppose if there were anything it is my ability to comprehend a situation. Sometimes I am not as quick as other people verbally but non verbally I am pretty quick.
  • At work I'm making a reputation for myself. The reputation being that I'm very positive and forward about diversity. It means something to me. 

Things I need to work on would be:

  • Not being injured at the gym
  • My diet. - my diet is a symbol of my sense of self control. I don't have a sense of control. Cracker (the tv detective said: I drink too much, I eat too much, I swear too much, I am too much). Perhaps I am too much
  • Improving my sense of having a social and family life