Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Aspects of PTSD life


  • being afraid to sleep because you fear it might be death and not sleep
  • people recommending CBT and 'easy' talking therapies, when I know about all that shit already, reading about mindfulness, medication and modern methods 
  • Unwelcome memories of the past
  • Unexpected but sometimes welcome memories of the past
  • Waking up and not knowing what year it is
  • obsessions - need to have them. They keep me sane. 
  • Unusual sleeping and waking times
  • Difficulties in trying to appear normal
  • Avoidance of social and family situations
  • Avoiding contact with family
  • Friendships dying away like a plant withering due to neglect
  • Things being described about you that are upsetting: description of childhood emotional neglect, sexual abuse, isolation, mistreatment
  • Support - is there any?
  • Living in your own mental world - not sure if its a good or bad thing that I have one
  • The difference between the mental world I make (daydream, fantasising) and the one made by my mind where I am unfamiliar wiht it (triggers, bad dreams, simulations)
  • Keeping a full time job and being good at it
  • Having not much energy for a life outside of work, as I'm spending a lot of time being good at it.
  • Accepting that this is the way things will be. 
  • Not wishing things can be better in an instant, but realising its gradual
  • Not wishing things didn't happen
  • Accepting my actions, the past. 
  • Deciding my future.