Aspects of PTSD life

• being afraid to sleep because you fear it might be death and not sleep
• people recommending CBT and 'easy' talking therapies, when I know about all that shit already, reading about mindfulness, medication and modern methods 
• Unwelcome memories of the past
• Unexpected but sometimes welcome memories of the past
• Waking up and not knowing what year it is
• obsessions - need to have them. They keep me sane. 
• Unusual sleeping and waking times
• Difficulties in trying to appear normal
• Avoidance of social and family situations
• Avoiding contact with family
• Friendships dying away like a plant withering due to neglect
• Things being described about you that are upsetting: description of childhood emotional neglect, sexual abuse, isolation, mistreatment
• Support - is there any?
• Living in your own mental world - not sure if its a good or bad thing that I have one
• The difference between the mental world I make (daydream, fantasising) and the one made by my mind where I am unfamiliar wiht it (triggers, bad dreams, simulations)
• Keeping a full time job and being good at it
• Having not much energy for a life outside of work, as I'm spending a lot of time being good at it.
• Accepting that this is the way things will be. 
• Not wishing things can be better in an instant, but realising its gradual
• Not wishing things didn't happen
• Accepting my actions, the past. 
• Deciding my future.