note to self

 waitrose 1% cider is nasty.

It may be low/zero alcohol, but it still tastes like shit.

Also: Brooklyn IPA --- yet to decide if that's good. 

Avoid: Milk stout zero alcohol

 Thursday

So yesterday. President Trump was no more, Joe Biden became the president. Everyone was happy. 

Today. I woke up late, but I managed to get lots and lots of work. I was working on a lot of planning stuff and I didn't log it all. After work I cycled. I went to waitrose. I got some nice food at waitrose. I bought a new new statesman, I haven't even read last week's. I went on the scenic route home. This has been my routine to go on a nice bike ride. I have been drinking zero alcohol beer. 

I'm working through my tasks tonight. I got a free paper from waitrose. My head is a bit foggy today. One thing I'm recently doing is admitting my own limitations, my own vulnerability and just being inside it. My flash card for 'analysis paralysis' says 'embrace mediocrity. It means not to aim for perfectionism all the time. 

That's exhausting. 

I'll aim to just...get enough done. Satisfice?

 ABC PLEase - reviewing

A: Accumulate positive experiences - good food and cycling i think

B: Build mastery in activities. keeping to a routine involves self discipline and multiple activities

C: Cope ahead. Planning and staying ahead is important

P: Please: physical illness prevention. staying at home is one thing. Keeping physically active without over eating is another

L: Low vulnerability to diseases. I think tackling my insomnia is important for this

E: Exercise regularly, maybe after gyms open I can do more on this. In the mean time I cycle about 5-6 miles a day

A: Avoid mood altering drugs. Well I do this anyway. I do however like zero alcohol beers, my pleasure and no inebriation

S: Sleep healthy: Work on insomnia -- i also need to work more on this

E: Eat healthy: - more mushrooms! 

 Things I'm positive about today

• I did a bike ride today
• I got just enough work done today
• Ive nearly finished an audiobook. Lets see if I can finish it. I'm reading Megan Rapinoe's autobiography

Things I'm positive about in the future (5 things)

1. I'm confident that if I keep up this pace, I'll hit my mileage target for hte year on the bike
2. I'm confident that if I keep up the reading pace, I'll hit my books target for hte year
3. The vaccine.
4. I'm looking forward to having holiday and time off when the pandemic is over
5. I'm looking forward to saving more money

 Achievements for the day: Sunday (after noon)

Sunday from midnight to 6am I worked on a bunch of admin. I will however consider this as 'saturday'. 

I was exhausted and slept all day. Woke up in the afternoon. When I finally got up, I did a bit of reading. I caught up on my music listening. I finished reading some encyclopedia articles. I read up on some of my magazine pdfs which i've got from last year. I catught up on my logging. I slow cooked a fish pie and watched a fair bit of MMA and boxing. 

If there is a way to describe how I got things done today perhaps it is 'grounding'. Feeling a little bit of anxiety lately but I just managed to go through my tasks.

Hoping tomorrow is a better day. 

 The past couple of days I have been exhausted. I have tried to keep stable parts of my routine lately. Cycle for about 5 miles. Lately in the news there has been a discussion about what counts as 'local'. The Prime minister was seen 7 miles away from his residence cycling, which is perceived to go against the spirit of the pandemic instructions for the whole country: stay at home unless you have to work or other limited reasons. Exercises restricted to 'local area'. 

On cycling websites, there are discussions about what counts as local. I go to the nearby common, I go back through the main road and its like a box like route. I'd say that's local. I barely go out of my post code. 

It's been a rough pandemic. Staying home and being without the things I took for granted. I used to have the gym, mcdonalds, the pub. Those things not available anymore. Just listening to some podcasts, a bit of TV, audiobooks, magazines and my local Waitrose keep my sane. I have a waitrose card now. I love that I get a free newspaper if I spend over £10. I have been drinking a lot of zero alcohol beers. Apparently there's a zero alcohol gin coming out soon. I almost feel like zero alcohol/low alcohol drinks are a game changer. 

I'm trying to stay close to reality but it's not been easy. This whole situation has made me feel very down. I'm trying to stick to everyday tasks to keep sane. My homework for the next couple of hours is to finish an audiobook by Sophia Money-Coutts and in the mean time get some admin done.

Onwards....

 Today at 8pm the PM announced 'Tier 5'. The new terminology continually being invented. Lockdown 3. Lockdown 1 began in March; Lockdown 2 for a month in November; about 11-13 days after Lockdown 2, Tier 3, then 4 was announced in the south. Now its January 2021, we are in 'Tier 5', which is basically like Lockdown 1.

All this happens in the background. It's my first  day back in the year. I'm realising that some people are no longer working here. I didn't get everything I wanted done, but I did do a lot of catch up at work which I feel a little bit proud of. 

After work I went on the bike, went to waitrose, went to the common then went to McDonalds. I felt like it was my last meal in a variety of ways.

I think all this pandemic and overwork stuff is taking a toll on me. Resilience is key.