Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Longitudinal comparisons

I thought, that since I have a bit of free time after sending off application number three, that I'd look at the context of my activity to 2009. It looked like my job search plan wasn't very good, but I was getting interviews, and I was keeping busy. In short, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. If anything, there is a comparable stability to back then and now. I am however, a lot more busy and active now than I was then. I missed an interview around last year for a thinktank. I truly fucked up in that respect. Alas, its a lesson learned and a lesson held.

So, in a moment, I suppose that I'll prepare to go outside to counselling. I will have to think of things to talk about. I feel like I'm not hitting at the issue, or that I'm not quite sure what to talk about. How do I start a session? There's always an awkard silence at the beginining of the session. I feel a little anxious for a few reasons:

  • Weight
  • Social isolation/feeling down
  • Feeling behind my peers/underachieving
  • Money woes -e.g. I'm skint; I hope I have enough cash in my oyster card
  • Uncertainty that things will go to plan (such as who I report to tomorrow)
But there are positives

  • I've not gained weight even if I've not lost as much as last week
  • I have booked an interview in  2 weeks
  • I've applied to 2 jobs today
  • I've made a query to one job...
  • ...and prepared an application for another
  • I'm working almost a full day tomorrow: 8am - 15:30. If I leave at 7am in the morning, I shouldn't have too much traffic issues; and I'll be on time. In addition, I also will get home without *too* much traffic (that's the theory, anyway).
I wish I could say glorious and inspiring things, but to be honest that kind of talk is for people who have arleady got it sorted out and success is already half way there. For me, it's just a struggle to get out of bed in the morning, or do a poo poo in a room other than the bedroom. I'm starting to feel quite fatigued. That's not an especially good sign considering that I need to leave soon. I always liked a challenge...

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