Thursday, September 2, 2010

Soup in the morning

Good morning. I feel a little inarticulate today so I will display my thoughts in a numerical fashion.

1. Interning was busy. I did more data entry and then started on a very big andd important spreadsheet. They are giving me a few responsibilities.

2. I was quite fatigued yesterday. I think part of it is the sun beating down on me when I was the office, the sun shone so brightly that I could barely see my computer screen. The heat was a little draining. On the plus side I listened to a few podcasts. The really cute boss has left the organisation I think, she had such sexy feet in flip flops. Now there is the other girl, she's cute too, in a freckled english girl kind of way. I feel a bit fucked up thinking about them as attractive. I keep decorum when I'm in the office.

3. On the way home I was listening to the inception soundtrack, also on the way to work as well. I love that big slow sound, booming and menacing. I also had a trigger (I only realise it now) when I was on the train. I got angry, but more importantly I got upset. Yesterday is the three year anniversary of when I began to purge. Yesterday begins the three year anniversary of when my life turned upside down. How can one year define my life so much? I probably asked that of other years in my life. Perhaps my perception of the grand scheme of my life is limited by what I do not know, namely, my future.

4. When I got home I was too tired to eat. Can you believe that? I ate a little, forcibly, snackibly. Then I watched more episodes of enterprise. It's fun, the Xindi saga is nearly over I think.

5. So I'm awake. I've got so many pending tasks, some of which I only realise late in the day. I need to update my NHS certificate, I need to go to the job centre for an interview. I need to check if my railcard hasn't expired, and I need to book an appointment with the GP to sort out my skin. I love GPs, they are problem solvers. I'm also thinking more about counselling.

6. Yoga girl texted me back. I'm slightly thinking about asking her out. I'm scared. If I had a job and money, and a flat of my own, I'd feel less scared. I'm a powerless loser who talks about Aristotle. What good will I be on a date?

7. Lots to do, I'm on the prospects website and its a nightmare. Now i'm watching another episode of enterprise while finishing off some soup that mum made. It's got a bit of a kick. Trust an asian family to put chilli in all their food. Even soup.

Okay I'm off.
Today is a decider day, a day that decides my future. I hope I fare well.

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