Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Posh wank (Skins season 2 soundtrack in the morning)

I decided to sleep early, and not bother with going on MSN last night. I bedded myself just before 9. I woke up again at around half past midnight, I decided, after my horniness about tonight's date; to have a posh wank.

For those not in the know, a posh wank is when you beat off while wearing a condom, I quite enjoyed it. My penis is de-sensitised and the condom was matted. The condom also had a sweet taste. I think one reaches a real low when they try to determine the taste of a condom after one has came inside it.

I had a bit of a snack, I watched star trek voyager while on TV at 1am, it was comforting, like the old days. In addition, I snacked a bit. I realised that after I rose my blood sugar level, I was more disposed to sleep. I listened to a couple of academic podcasts and then I drifed into slumber again. I woke up at a reasonable 7am, lay in bed for a half hour, and then got up for an early aroma bath. Shaved, brushed teeth, made sure dick was clean and I even scrubbed my feet a bit.

Today I'm interning, just in case you forgot, I certainly have put it in the back of my mind. I'm doing hard work for a company that doesn't pay me. The really attractive girl has 'moved on' from the company, so I'm left with the less (althoguh still) attractive one; who's kind of the type who will take your virginity after the school dance because you were childhood friends. Pity fuck. Gosh I'm cruel.

I'm feeling insecure about my body. I have reduced my intake over the past few days, and since Monday's job centre business I've felt not like indulging my gluton; except for last night's cupcakes.

So, where am I today? Today we are at a midweek, two dates ahead of you, one blog meetup (perhaps) and only one job applied sofar. I need to get to job applying either after my interning today; or between thursday-friday. I don't think it will be possible to do too much on sunday. i'm stretching myself too thin with my activities. I thought I learned from that lesson. In the back of my head I'm hoping to be 'saved' by friday, either by UCL, or the left wing socialists I applied to, or the thinktank. The computer games shop hasn't considered me, and the guy at the job centre openly told me its not likely that i'm going to be on the workshop mainly because I'm interested in public sector.

I'm thinking to myself whether to wear a jacket. It looks sunny today, but it is also mid-september (fuck, I know...); it rains on and off this week and I don't want a wet shirt, be it from sweat or rain. I may be unpaid but I do have standards.

Today's plan seems straightforward; go to the train, go to 'work', have lunch then back to work. After work I'll go home, prepare for the date, make an excuse to my parents and then I'll do some catchup hopefully, either on GReader or GCal/jobs. Here's to hoping that today goes well, of course when a date occurs, there are so many oppurtunities for me to have a Larry David moment. At least I'm not bald at the moment.

I feel in a bit of a morning stupour right now. I want to blog loads and loads, as a separation from my current reality. I might talk about something else while I'm still having a brain dump. At the wedding last week, I was thinking about my late uncle. It was his daughter, after all who got married. Losing a father could not have been easy for them. Losing my uncle didn't mean as much in the sense that he wasn't my father nor did I know him as well, I was also too young to really appreciate it. Sometimes I have dreams about him. Sometimes I think about their family. Life has passed on quite a bit, my parent's 1970s and 1980s is my 00s and '10s That's a bloody scary thought; the cyclical nature of life. One generation decays, another grows, then decays again.

I dont think life was so great when they were around my age; but it got better and ythe time I was born things were pretty good. However now, its mroe confused; things are better like with disability legislation and there aren't any racial or overt prejudices in mainstream society, but there are other problems too. Every age has their issues. I certainly have mine, I worry about an ex girlfriend like she's an ex-wife and I think I always will. I just hope that today, as in all days, I am the best that I can be. I think i'm ready to put my clothes on now.

Good morning.

p.s. skins soundtrack is really good, I feel like I'm caught up with pop music of the past 2-3 years. yay :p

pps. I dont think I like heavy metal as much anymore, its' a bit boring and repetitive, I felt I always knew this, but even the stuff I like is turning to shit. I feel like listening a bit wider now.

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