I've had a 'lazy day' today. I'm almost certain that I've maxed out on calories. I bought a pack of cookies, gobbled it up; two packets of bacon crisps (grab bags), gobbled them up; and I've had two plates of yesterday's pork roast, with salad and microwaved mushrooms respectively.
Today I've searched about 15 job boards and organisations, I've not found any vacancies. I attempted to apply to about 3-4 vacancies today, but I felt a bit lazy/felt they weren't appropriate to apply to. Sometimes when you look for jobs, I feel like it's not right for me to apply to them. For instance, the post earlier mentioned the 'UK's only black performance school' looking for an applicant. There was also the job that was only for a woman. Or the job that required 1-2 years experience. I don't fit the mark so I didn't choose to apply. You may call that lazy, I do, but it's also prudent use of time. However wanking during the afternoon, and gorging while listening to Marc Maron's latest episode is not a constructive use of time.
In the past couple of hours, I've been reading articles from my blog. Some academic, some journalistic, but all written by academics of some ilk. I am tired of listening to Uriah Heep, The Cure, and King Diamond. I find their music awfully draining. If you judge my google schedule as one simple task per half hour; I've done about 14 hours between 8am-1pm. Counting all of today I consider the artificial allocation of time to be 15 hours. That's over a days' worth of tasks. In one sense I've committed to much more than I normally do in a day, and I've booked a GP appointment, signed in and got a blog submission posted on aforementioned intern blog; except for training today has been fairly active.
I think that I'm holding my breath today, because of the result I expect to hear from the thinktank. Will I get an offer? Will I get rejected? Whatever I decide I need to know so that I can respond to the other intern offer on friday. What about the job interview/training day next week? This is all quite complicated and I'm not sure how this will turn out. It might be that I don't get the job on tuesday next week, and I'm with an internship and FUCKED!
I've overeaten today, partly because of the worries of the whole intern/job situation. I'm also worried that I've gained weight significantly again. If I'm going to seriously lose any weight; i need to push my weight loss much more intensely, whether that means purging, or intensive excercise. I feel the healing process slowly on my body today, my forearms/triceps are still sore, my muscles under my armpits are particularly sore, and sometimes I can feel my quads pulsating. Yesterday I had a thoracic cramp. That was not nice! On the plus side, I think that , despite my weight gain; I'm gaining general fitness, even if my food intake is not reducing.
Some days I feel completely worthless, sitting here on a dying computer, unemployed, unemployable. I feel like there is a beast inside me desperate to be recognised. The editor of the blog that I submitted to was really nice. I guess us graduates are all in the same boat, well the unemployed shitty intern ones. I'm glad I am at least an incumbent intern. I'll need to hand a 'notice' or formal statement of leaving soon though. That depends on what I decide.
Plans for tomorrow:
Today I've searched about 15 job boards and organisations, I've not found any vacancies. I attempted to apply to about 3-4 vacancies today, but I felt a bit lazy/felt they weren't appropriate to apply to. Sometimes when you look for jobs, I feel like it's not right for me to apply to them. For instance, the post earlier mentioned the 'UK's only black performance school' looking for an applicant. There was also the job that was only for a woman. Or the job that required 1-2 years experience. I don't fit the mark so I didn't choose to apply. You may call that lazy, I do, but it's also prudent use of time. However wanking during the afternoon, and gorging while listening to Marc Maron's latest episode is not a constructive use of time.
In the past couple of hours, I've been reading articles from my blog. Some academic, some journalistic, but all written by academics of some ilk. I am tired of listening to Uriah Heep, The Cure, and King Diamond. I find their music awfully draining. If you judge my google schedule as one simple task per half hour; I've done about 14 hours between 8am-1pm. Counting all of today I consider the artificial allocation of time to be 15 hours. That's over a days' worth of tasks. In one sense I've committed to much more than I normally do in a day, and I've booked a GP appointment, signed in and got a blog submission posted on aforementioned intern blog; except for training today has been fairly active.
I think that I'm holding my breath today, because of the result I expect to hear from the thinktank. Will I get an offer? Will I get rejected? Whatever I decide I need to know so that I can respond to the other intern offer on friday. What about the job interview/training day next week? This is all quite complicated and I'm not sure how this will turn out. It might be that I don't get the job on tuesday next week, and I'm with an internship and FUCKED!
I've overeaten today, partly because of the worries of the whole intern/job situation. I'm also worried that I've gained weight significantly again. If I'm going to seriously lose any weight; i need to push my weight loss much more intensely, whether that means purging, or intensive excercise. I feel the healing process slowly on my body today, my forearms/triceps are still sore, my muscles under my armpits are particularly sore, and sometimes I can feel my quads pulsating. Yesterday I had a thoracic cramp. That was not nice! On the plus side, I think that , despite my weight gain; I'm gaining general fitness, even if my food intake is not reducing.
Some days I feel completely worthless, sitting here on a dying computer, unemployed, unemployable. I feel like there is a beast inside me desperate to be recognised. The editor of the blog that I submitted to was really nice. I guess us graduates are all in the same boat, well the unemployed shitty intern ones. I'm glad I am at least an incumbent intern. I'll need to hand a 'notice' or formal statement of leaving soon though. That depends on what I decide.
Plans for tomorrow:
- More applications
- Await result of interview with bated breath
- Training
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