Maybe S5 logic is right - actuality is the only modality

The doctors want to help with my anxiety.

I wish someone could wave a magic wand and its my 27th birthday and I'm an academic. Maybe I live outside of london in a nice town, like Oxford or Reading or Edinburgh. I have a girlfriend, we have a kinky life, maybe we are polyamorous and I also have a boyfriend and we have fun group sex. I have a nice sports car and a big book shelf, I have a piano in my study. But I wouldn't have the life that I have now.

I try not to daydream like that. I feel its not helpful.

I wish the doctors could help me more. I wish I knew how to say what I needed - could you make that life happen for me? Could someone improve me, could someone fix me? I need a magical black man like in all those hollywood films, or a manic pixie dream girl. Why can't I just be ignorant enough to imagine there are such things as a magical black man or MPDG - but there aren't. I've got this life, its the only one I have. Maybe S5 logic is right - actuality is the only modality