Monday, May 13, 2013

weird dreams, and living hope

My dreams:


I had two really weird dreams. One was a panic-inducing dream where I felt like I was going to have a heart attack, both during the dream and when I was awake. Another dream was really weird. I was in the old house I used to live in and talking to my flatmate, as I was packing everything up to go back home. We were talking and for some reason it was my boss at work who was my flatmate, channelling another actual girl I used to live with (who apparently works for a bank now! - despite being qualified as a primary school teacher).

In this latter dream, I was explaining how over the past two years I had been working in events at shambly arena and I am just about to start a job in 'human resources' (which is factually incorrect) with a major newspaper. The housemate seemed to pity me. Then I went into a room which was the living room, but it resembled an exhibition hall for a conference, but not exactly the conference hall that I work in. What a weird dream - I think the dream symbolised me letting go of the past - or something.


I woke up today thinking about the future. I never think about the future, I never look forward. I'm so often looking back. Do you know what I'm thinking about today? I'm thinking about the stuff I bought on Ebay, hearing back from that newspaper for work, I am looking forward to chairing the meeting tonight and being all responsible and adult. I am looking forward to doing the gym this week. I am looking forward to living.

I have just a little bit more hope now. I am not resting too much on my laurels today. I'm doing some minor tasks, well, its a big backlog actually. But I'm just going to graft all the way through it for about the next 5 hours straight. I might put in my VGA monitor to watch GoT while I'm doing so.



No comments: