The date in my view went well in some ways. We talked a lot. I got suddenly and unexpectedly drunk. I then started talking about all the forbidden topics:
- Gender inequality
- The intolerance of certain feminists and accepting there are different feminisms
- The ways in which I've been treated as a man with an eating disorder
- The strange ways I'm close to my friends
- Gay bears
- My bisexual tendencies
- Girls who broke my heart
- This blog! I said how I write it for therapeutic reasons
I was strangely not anxious and really comfortable with her. However I think I fucked up, because towards the end, she was saying how she needed to go to waterloo because her friend had a bad reaction to chinese medicine and was drunk - it sounded like a fake reason to go. I kind of felt down after the date. I was really elated with her. Maybe its the beer, maybe it's how attractive she was. Maybe it was how open I felt with her in a way that I've never ever felt with anyone before.
I think it didn't work, I think I scared her off. I think I got too weird on her :(
It made me feel almost normal last night. Almost normal.
Today I'm back to being weird and deficient, I'm putting together some scores and travelling today. Teaching my music - well that's a first. I still feelt he beer in my blood. It's quite nice.
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