Tuesday, May 21, 2013

I haven't heard anything from the Sentinel in a week

Good Afternoon


My challenge today is motivation.

I've not heard back from the Sentinel people. Part of me has a fear, the fear I won't actually hear back from them. All that effort and even being given an approval from them, and then suddenly, it dries up. Its that kind of lack of communication that I grew up with and learned to take for granted, its that attitude my dad taught me that I should never follow up and just accept the world as it is: shit.


As succh, not hearing back from the recruitment manager is bringing up some very uncomfortable and challenging feelings. I really shouldn't have looked at Threads (that nuclear war film) again. Fucking hell, I was just reading an article by David Mitchell (of Peep Show fame, not the novellist), where he mentions it once and suddenly it feels icky. I always have a compulsion to watch it. Fucking hell, why can't I just let it go.


Distractions aside. I need to focus. I need to focus on tasks today. I need to be single minded. I've sent two emails. I sincerely hope I hear from her. I really want to work. I really want to work for the Sentinel. I really want to don a suit and work for that major newspaper as a temp with no guarantee of work or aspiration.

Please, fucking let me work. Please let this work.

Today it's kind of hard for me to not be preoccupied with this. I'm going to try and concentrate on other tasks today. If possible.

Perhaps I might have some breakfast to allay my thoughts.

Also, food is good.


No comments: