Friday, March 19, 2010

Worries

I just got back from walking from the library. It is about a mile or so. I didn't get the bus. I will count that as excercise today.

I still have not recieved my reference letter, or my payment from the DWP. It's worrying me. I've not felt worried about things in a while. I've just felt numb.

I feel a distinct sense in which my emotions are returning. Good and bad. Maybe it's right to worry and rational to sometimes feel sad. My emotional repetoire and sense of equilibrium has been eroded to such an extent that I'm not sure what are 'normal' feelings. I went to a point where I don't care so much if that is the case. I think I shall call the job centre to see if they know anything. Furthermore I hope that the reference comes soon. This PhD application is my life and if I do not get it in on time due to the reference letter, my life will not be worth living.

Today I ate: two steak bakes from greg the bakers' and i am currently drinking some fruity water (my sense of humour thought to itself: fruity water would involve having some contact with a male penis). I'm not sure what makes it fruity and not just water. It has a horrid fructose cling on my teeth. I suppose with my vomiting my teeth are not in their best condition.

Here's to another day.

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