My back is rather irksome today. I discern that it's my thoracic section, not lower back or neck. It hurts when I lay down. So, lets talk about the past few days.
Wednesday was heavy duty data entry. I felt a bit of pressure cos the project manager intern was giving me reams after reams of paper asking me to process them. It felt a bit overwhelming, but it was the good kind of pressure that I overcame. I wish the pressures I felt in my life were just as surmountable. Coming home was fun, it rained like fuck and the train journey was fairly uneventful and swift. I saw this ethiopian woman with an irish accent talking to her white baby. I thought to myself: wow, modern Britain. I also seem to have a little game when I'm on the train: guess the age. Since i'm not technically mid 20s (fucking hell!) I now feel like a proper grown up. Thing is a proper grownup shouldn't live with parents, and be unemployed. Especially a grownup who reads aristotle and shakespeare as light reading.
Yesterday I thought to myself: Okay, lets get on with my applications: back pain or not. Jogging is out of the question with my poor old back troubling me. I suspect jogging was the reason I fucked it up. I've not observed my weight lately, but I hope my caloruie count is low. I called my latina friends who are visiting, and they asked me out to shop with them, at camden. It was fun, it was hilarious, it was weird. Especially weird was the shop called 'robotdog' or 'cyberdog' which had some high end sex toys, and a really nice pair of trousers. If I had a lovely wide chest that wasn't flabby, I'd buy those leather shorts. I'd feel sexy in them, like a sexy slave. All I need now is mistress. Anyway, on with my story. I dined with the girls, chatted, laughed and we went to a pub to meet up with a fellow countrymen of theirs. It was funny, he was funny. However when I got home, one of the girls' boyfriends called and asked if he seemed a bit odd. My friend (the ever loving boyfriend) was worried that the guy was getting 'too close'. I told him what he wanted to hear. What he needed to hear was that he was paranoid, but I didn't say that.
So I got home, watched some penn and teller (I love P&T) had a wank and that was my day. I dont know how I did for calories. I had beans and toast for breakfast, some semblance of lunch in the form of chinese food (which was horrible by the end), nachos, some beer, and a lovely quiche from M&S when I got home. I think I got my fix of chinese that day. My body keeps telling me to comfort eat in the evenings, I need to reprogram myself.
So we are left with today. I've got about two days backlog with my schedule, but I'm going by bravely. I applied to a fair few jobs these past couple of weeks, but I feel increasingly hopeless and down. I dont know if I can compete in the job world, or the world at large. I know I shouldn't feel this way and compared to my past sense of despair in the past; this is more rational and controlled. Im hopeless as a rational forecast, not as a state of panic. I'm going to be brave and attempt to get out of this pickle of a situation. I hope I can get my life back, going out with the girls yesterday was an important part of getting my life back. I can never forget my friends. Also one of them is a bit flirty with me, I guess that I feel a bit normal flirting with a girl with whom we are just playing with. The whole Christine Hamilton and Louis Theroux thing.
Anyway, I've gotten that off my chest so now I'm gonna send off another application.
Toodles.
Wednesday was heavy duty data entry. I felt a bit of pressure cos the project manager intern was giving me reams after reams of paper asking me to process them. It felt a bit overwhelming, but it was the good kind of pressure that I overcame. I wish the pressures I felt in my life were just as surmountable. Coming home was fun, it rained like fuck and the train journey was fairly uneventful and swift. I saw this ethiopian woman with an irish accent talking to her white baby. I thought to myself: wow, modern Britain. I also seem to have a little game when I'm on the train: guess the age. Since i'm not technically mid 20s (fucking hell!) I now feel like a proper grown up. Thing is a proper grownup shouldn't live with parents, and be unemployed. Especially a grownup who reads aristotle and shakespeare as light reading.
Yesterday I thought to myself: Okay, lets get on with my applications: back pain or not. Jogging is out of the question with my poor old back troubling me. I suspect jogging was the reason I fucked it up. I've not observed my weight lately, but I hope my caloruie count is low. I called my latina friends who are visiting, and they asked me out to shop with them, at camden. It was fun, it was hilarious, it was weird. Especially weird was the shop called 'robotdog' or 'cyberdog' which had some high end sex toys, and a really nice pair of trousers. If I had a lovely wide chest that wasn't flabby, I'd buy those leather shorts. I'd feel sexy in them, like a sexy slave. All I need now is mistress. Anyway, on with my story. I dined with the girls, chatted, laughed and we went to a pub to meet up with a fellow countrymen of theirs. It was funny, he was funny. However when I got home, one of the girls' boyfriends called and asked if he seemed a bit odd. My friend (the ever loving boyfriend) was worried that the guy was getting 'too close'. I told him what he wanted to hear. What he needed to hear was that he was paranoid, but I didn't say that.
So I got home, watched some penn and teller (I love P&T) had a wank and that was my day. I dont know how I did for calories. I had beans and toast for breakfast, some semblance of lunch in the form of chinese food (which was horrible by the end), nachos, some beer, and a lovely quiche from M&S when I got home. I think I got my fix of chinese that day. My body keeps telling me to comfort eat in the evenings, I need to reprogram myself.
So we are left with today. I've got about two days backlog with my schedule, but I'm going by bravely. I applied to a fair few jobs these past couple of weeks, but I feel increasingly hopeless and down. I dont know if I can compete in the job world, or the world at large. I know I shouldn't feel this way and compared to my past sense of despair in the past; this is more rational and controlled. Im hopeless as a rational forecast, not as a state of panic. I'm going to be brave and attempt to get out of this pickle of a situation. I hope I can get my life back, going out with the girls yesterday was an important part of getting my life back. I can never forget my friends. Also one of them is a bit flirty with me, I guess that I feel a bit normal flirting with a girl with whom we are just playing with. The whole Christine Hamilton and Louis Theroux thing.
Anyway, I've gotten that off my chest so now I'm gonna send off another application.
Toodles.
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