Dear diary,

 

about 40 mins before i need to leave to get to work (shambly, not sentinel). I thought I'd write a few words about thigns going on for other people than me right now:

 

• Antonia is being tested for bowel cancer
• My dad is performing in a play in our native language
• Mum's doing my washing and holding the fort at home
• My cousin is possibly pregnant
• My brother is moving strength to strength with his self-employedness
• My friend is starting his final year at nursing school
• One of our now former badminton partners is going to uni, starting at portsmouth. I hope he has a good time - he's gonna change so much. I kind of see a bit of myself in him, or perhaps better said, my past situation.
• My friend from work (who is also a colleague) is working at the office for the event organisers. He's come back from latin america.
• My good whatsapp friend is coming to meet my bro/her boyfriend for a few weeks, staying at their place. 
• My family friend studying accounting is starting his final year at uni
• My friend from uni is writing up his PhD and moved home in the final endgame of writing his thesis
• The feminists I worked with have debriefed about edinburgh and now moving on to other things
• I've still not seen Fiona, the cute fitness instructor at the gym. I miss her energy. I miss her energy. I miss having a woman to talk to at the gym who is nice to me. I'm not used to talking to nice women.

Maybe I should talk about my conversations/relationships with other people:

• I think my parents are proud of me working full time hours recently
• I am getting on well with my brother
• I've made good friends on fetlife, bizarrely enough
• One girl I chat to regularly I might meet for a date type situation. 
• The trans friend I chat to with psychosis issues messaged me today, she's doing okay. I'm glad to hear from her, but she says she doesn't want to hang around the computer screen too much...understandable.

 

So...this is a summary of what I mean when I say things are busy. I'm busy with work, everyone's busy with other stuff. If summer was good weather, this time of year is about doing things, regardless of the state of the sky. 

 

I had the CBT appointment yesterday. We talked about my bowel problem. she convinced me it isn't a bowel problem as such. Instead I should challenge the anxiety feelings as a way of trying to combat them. This is a big reversal of my thinking. There's a lot going on for me lately. To keep track of it all I need google calendar. I have lots of lists of things to do. Lots of juggling. Tomorrow I'm off. I think for the next couple of weeks however, I will have 5 days work and 2 days off every week - or something similar to that. As such I'll be stretched quite a bit in terms of my energy. 

 

It's time to go to work now. I'm kind of looking forward to events work - the team are like a family.