I have found the person who I've ended up not entirely desirable. However of late I have determined that the fight that I take to myself is one of losing weight and getting the 'good' me back. Instead of the evil, fat me. As such this fight for a thinner me is at the same time a fight for the better me.
I am 227lbs, this week has seen me lose one or two pounds. This is great news. I know that these things fluctuate, but knowing that I can get this low also means that I can stick to this weight and then exceed my losses.
If I am honest, I am not very good at dealing with my negative side, so I have resolved to overcome it by means of adopting a positive attitude. When I jog I think about the dark stuff, but when I do; it sometimes gives me more reason to keep jogging, or the pain I feel comes up in tears; tears that I can easily mask through pain. There's a difference perhaps between the tears of pain when you are trying to lift your own weight through your biceps, and the tears of bad memories. When yuo think of the bad memories as you push your physical limits, it makes for an emotionally draining and cathartic sense of clearing. That's my initial opinion at least. Perhaps I'll change my mind.
Right now I'm listening to Miles davis, and I'll do some reading for my book review. Life is good, but I just need the perspective to see the good in life. A job would help :p
Oh well. I've got another application for today. Wish me luck, niggas!
I am 227lbs, this week has seen me lose one or two pounds. This is great news. I know that these things fluctuate, but knowing that I can get this low also means that I can stick to this weight and then exceed my losses.
If I am honest, I am not very good at dealing with my negative side, so I have resolved to overcome it by means of adopting a positive attitude. When I jog I think about the dark stuff, but when I do; it sometimes gives me more reason to keep jogging, or the pain I feel comes up in tears; tears that I can easily mask through pain. There's a difference perhaps between the tears of pain when you are trying to lift your own weight through your biceps, and the tears of bad memories. When yuo think of the bad memories as you push your physical limits, it makes for an emotionally draining and cathartic sense of clearing. That's my initial opinion at least. Perhaps I'll change my mind.
Right now I'm listening to Miles davis, and I'll do some reading for my book review. Life is good, but I just need the perspective to see the good in life. A job would help :p
Oh well. I've got another application for today. Wish me luck, niggas!
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