Sunday, April 7, 2013

Saturday activities

I know I just wrote a review piece for today. I had assigned a 'non-priority' day today. This included:

  • Clearing niggly tasks like receipts, playlists, CBT assignments, codeacademy stuff, checkingthrough courses, going through opened email tabs on thunderbird,
  • I went to the gym today, did Body Combat with my friend, it was Fucking Awesome. I kind of like how the instructor from another class was in the class as a student, and we talked a bit. She's nice, I have trouble talking to women, but she seemed relatable, and upbeat, also, she did 4 classes in sequence that morning, she's fucking hardcore! Plus I think she's kind of hot, she has a really boyish body and short boyish androgynous sexy hair. Hmm sexy andro girls. I was thinking about sexy andro boys when wanking last night. I didn't wank tonight, - I shoudln't write these thoughts as a bullet point
  • I explored some course options
  • I sorted out a software problem that I had
  • I managed to do all of these things without being de-railed, distracted. Except for that moment when I wrote that last email, and was reminded of what I need to do. Fuck

Anyway. I better go to bed.


I need to learn to smile more. My anxiety should be relieved by the fact that I'm playing Yehudi Menuhin on my laptop as the night weans on, if I had a girlfriend or boyfriend, they wouldn't allow me to do that - play music as I am laying in bed, it must be an insufferable quirk. I am relieved at the knowledge that as I sleep and wake, I am imputting Yehudi Menuhin (or whatever other music it might be at the time) into my brain, so when my sleep is disturbed by short waking periods it is also marked by say - Mehuin's Brahms chamber performances and I think to myself - this is Brahms, I love his brand of Romance-Classical Baroque flavoured chamber music, and have some deep thought, then go to bed again. This soothes me, it reminds me that I'm not in a dream world, it is like an anchor to the real world. I need an anchor, otherwise (mixing metaphors) I go off the rails.

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