Friday, March 4, 2011

Turn it around

An observation: I've gotten a big influx of job vacancies sent to me for recruitment consultant roles. Surely working as a recruitment consultant seems to be the most incestuous kind of role ever, its a job someone has to find other people jobs, and in the case of the influx its a whole lot of recruitment consultant jobs advertised (presumably) by a recruitment consultant. Who shaves the barber? (I bet no-one gets the reference there)

I suppose there are two ways I can describe today, I'm going to tell you the positive story. I woke up just in time to get the train, well I say 'just in time', what I mean is that as I saw the train at the platform I ran down the stairs and I rushed so much that as I heard the beeping of the doors I rushed as fast as my body could entail and I made a big jump down the stairs. I think it was at that point when I saw the doors just about to close and the train forever out of reach, that I fell on my knee and revived that old knee injury I got. There I lay on my knee, hurt and ashamed as clearly people saw what transpired. I sat there for a second as I observed the doors close, like a child inevitably seeing that toy he wants out of reach. Then with some luck, the doors opened again for my benefit. How nice of the train driver to see my silly jump.

Picking myself and my pride up off the floor, I hobbled to the doors, even if I wasn't even sure if I was able to walk, this chance I had to take. In the words of Blaine from predator: I ain't got time to bleed.

So, I read the metro as I got to work, and consoled my knee. Sitting on the train I saw how I ventured from the outskirts of obscure south west suburban london to the city of london and the public sector district that is Farringdon, then I ended up at work, which was as it happens, in an outskirts of a sort. So I did my interning work, and I went out for lunch with my colleagues, it so transpired that the other intern I work with is no a FT member of staff and the other new intern is a ditzy and very young lady, I realised how young she was when she didn't realise who Peter Mandelson is, then she didn't realise who Bryan Adams is (why that came up is another story). I felt old but I also felt a little more consoled by my decision to leave.

Getting home I felt my knee getting a little better, although it was still inflammated. I was having some pretty dark thoughts (to say the least of the positive story) so I decided that it would be a positive thing if I went to the gym not long after I got home. I got home, got my gym bag together and ventured to the gym. It's my first time at the gym since the robbery, so I felt a little anxious and scared, I also felt (following a favourite Marc Maron routine) racialised thoughts as i was considering which ethnic minority person is eyeing up my locker right now. Luckily no one broke into my locker this time, with that assurance I had a slightly inappropriately long shower to warmdown. The shower was nice and warm and no one was in the changing room so I just enjoyed the nakedness in a public place, I also gave myself a deeper clean than usual, deeper than I would if say another guy was in the shower with me (ie. my bum and under foreskin).

My body felt a little wrecked on the way home, my body felt more than a little wrecked as I came back home, my legs felt sore, my upper body and to some extent my abs. I only was in the gym for about an hour but the calisthenic and freeweight excercises really  get the olive oil (sweat) out of me. I was naughty and got some takeaway as I came home. Oh, I forgot to mention that I put my 16-25 card into my oyster account, so now the events of monday have almost been completely reversed. Well, I have to make peace with losing those 50p coins. I was going home with a colleague last week after a late shift and I was telling her about how horrid my first interview date was two weeks ago, she told me that I should 'turn it around' and not let what happened affect my mood for the next interview date. That kind of selective memory is interesting, this week I've been dealing with the idea that other people selectively remember the past, in effect to screen out the things that challenge them. Would it be so bad if I did the same to 'turn it around' to make my almost horrible day into a good day?

Well lets say this, for my intent, the above account of today sounds pretty positive (except for the guilty post-victim racialism) so lets just keep it at that?

Oh yeah, I also can't sleep right now. I sorta collapsed after I got home and I woke up around 10pm.

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