Monday, March 28, 2011

From anxiety to action

This morning I did not feel well. Call it an extended hangover, a hangover afterbirth, an anxiety aftershock, or just plain feeling down. For a memorial, there was certainly a lot of booze, I didn't manage to go to see Nadia or Sadia on Saturday, one of them texted me saying she couldn't make it anyway. I was not anywhere near a tube station that evening anyway.

When Sunday came I felt a little under the weather, then there was the meet up with Dobby. I waited a bit longer than usual in the train station and then I did meet her. I felt anxious at first, then a little more calmed, then I felt a bit more myself by the time we went for ice cream. There was an amazing Russian Orthodox style choir just after the museum closed. It was an amazing place and we had a nice time, then we went for pizza. I can overlook how the waitress didn't get my order right. At least I had a varied experience in terms of flavours.

After food we walked to the station then parted ways, I didn't realise until I got back home how long the whole day actually took. I then realised this morning how fucked my bank balance is. I can't afford to have a life, it seems. Following the day's activities, I find myself overspending my good energy this weeken and now I feel a bit horrible. I feel better than I did an hour ago though, getting out of bed was hard enough then; now I am getting my gym stuff together since I'm going out to sort out my money anyway.

Despite all that goes on in life, with the unexpected and the new and the exciting, I still need to carry on the normal stuff, like shitting and sorting out bills. I'm having a hard time keeping it all together, but it seems, I haven't fallen apart just yet.

In the words of the power rangers, it's time to go "back to action!"



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