Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Excercise keeps me honest, and girls tempt me to be an arsehole.

Good afternoon,

I've kept busy today (yay), I've shot off two applications, did a bit of job searching, and I'm going to counselling later and then training afterward. I like training on tuesday because I get to see my neighbours in the sports court downstairs. So, that sounds like 5 things today. I love it when a plan comes together. Yesterday I went to the opthalmologists and then the gym, after getting home I felt too tired to bother with anything, however, some odd things did happen. I got an add request from a girl I saw on last.fm that I recognised from somewhere else on the internets who I messaged once about taste in music. She basically invited me to a gig if I'm available, I do want to see more gigs and she said I'm free to tag along, which is nice of her.

Then another thing happened, this girl who I used to message on OKCupid starting chatting with me again, and partly due to her initiative (and largely due to my flirting), we started having a sexual conversation, as well as considered some potential ideas for dates. I definately need to go out with this girl, and were it not for the fact that I can't take a girl home, I would fuck her any time I physically can. I'm sorry to be so crude. It's been a long  time since a girl has seen me as a sexual being and well, it's a very long time since a girl has reciprocated my sexual feelings. This girl is 19, a gothic/metalhead type (so is the other girl) and I think she's into me mainly for 'the hair'. I'm a bit disappointed by that, I do wish that people could see me as the person, but apparently I'm too complicated a person to be understood.

People like their 2d characterisations, be a macho guy, the intellectual type (but not too clever to challenge them), the 'sensitive' type and then the sexual body that pairs with it. Maybe my gym karma is getting me better chances. All the same, right now the most important thing in my life is gravity (sorry, arnie line) sorting out a better job than I have (=more money) and better body (realised through increasingly tough resistance training and cardio). While its a stretch to say that I'm nonplussed about my increased female attention, I am a little bit pleased that 'I've still got it' with a few girls.

Apparently, I can still be charming and sexy with soem women, while maintaining my horrid personality of being preoccupied with reading and data entry. I guess the experience from last night has led me to conclude that I don't really know who I am.

It doesn't matter, in 20 mins I'll be off to counselling, and then after I'll need to pump some iron and fuck some shit up with my heart rate. Excercise keeps me honest, and girls tempt me to be an arsehole.

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