Monday, February 28, 2011

(Audiobook in the afternoon)

I get a lot of nightmare thoughts and feelings during my sleep, and often it seeps into my wake. This morning I woke up with the playlist starting on Richard Strauss, which gives me a lot of fond feelings. I fell in love with 'Four Last Songs' when I got to see it at the Proms last year, in addition the orchestra was conducted by the great Sir Simon Rattle, a composer whose calibre is under great appreciation lately. Rattle loves Schoenberg and the Vienna composers, plus he's British, two things I like about a cultural figure: shared interests and claming him as our own.

I thought that I woke up late, I managed to out myself from the bed by about 10. Come 11 I finished up some minor tasks, come 12 I started working on a data entry task and come now I've finished entering my reciepts. My receipt data goes back by a month.

On my mind today are the following thoughts:

  1. Anxiety about sending my boss the notice letter
  2. Should I go to the gym?
  3. How little I've actually applied to jobs lately
  4. Money: I need to withdraw from my ISA again. I just have enough to pay my gym bill this month (fuck)
  5. Transport: I need money to travel to work, interviews or all sorts of other things, my discount card ran out lately and I can't get another one. I can get discount for the train but I can't go everywhere on the train that just doesn't work
  6. Am I going anywhere in life?
  7. Should I take up Dobby's offer and go out with her?

I've resolved a few of these by making a schedule for today. Complete some small tasks, and then go get the ISA, then gym it. The fact that I need to take money from my savings is very bad, it means I'm not making enough money to make ends meet. I don't just need to consider counselling and gym costs, I need to consider things like occaisional clothes because I do need new clothes rather than it being a vain thing - a lot of my clothes are between 2-4 years old. I also need to consider transport fees, that damned oyster card is expensive as fuck.

My worries are mundane and everyday, tomorrow the environmental group has a fun subject. I'm also thinking about making a new playlist, the one I made just after Christmas has finished. I'm actually quite impressed at how long it took to listen to all of that music. I am a bit behind on my audiobooks lately. This week looks less busy than last, last week and the week before were particularly occupied: work, interviews and training. I've only got half of that this week. The rest I need to do myself.

Ta ta

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