Friday, February 18, 2011

Like a bad tattoo, you have to carry it with you constantly.

I was just reading this story. There's a certain part of it that I thought interesting. How everyone was so willing to pretend it never happened for the mother.

That's how my family treat what happened to me. Perhaps even I want to play that game. I want to play the game because it is too painful and shameful to even think that I attempted suicide and ended up in a hospital.

As I get older, these events are more like scars. Scars are memories, scars can be concealed but never erased. Like a bad tattoo, you have to carry it with you constantly.

I dont want to talk about the events of today. I will just say this: I got upset in public in such a strong way, I felt like I was thrown into another person, thrown into another time. Thrown back into the old me. The memories, the events are a part of me.

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