Note to self: Duck in chinese restaurants are fatty. Why do I keep ordering duck?
This weekend has been a mix of indulgence and tidying up, more so the former than the latter. At the moment I've just sent off an application to a campaigning organisation. For some reason I've felt like I've not kept up with things. Perhaps because of Friday. I had this coughing fit on friday where as a result I was temporarily suffocated. Feeling that suffocation reminded me of the bliss of purging. When I used to purge, I'd have this suffocation fit where for a brief period of time I'd struggle for air and afterward I'd feel like I was in a totally different mood and a totally different emotional situation. It felt like bliss.
Someone reminded me yesterday that its okay to take a day off, or not have to follow the schedule all the time. Yesterday my brother came over and this afternoon I met up with some friends and we had some chinese, had some laughs and walked about. Another thing I should note is that partly because of the stressful running and walking of Friday, as well as a general increase in walking, my walking distance this week is the highest since records began (which is just under a year now). Keeping records helps me cope with disorientation. Facts and data are grounding things for me. My bum hurts, yes that's weird to say. My thighs have been pretty sore after all the activity of Friday and my buttocks have taken the brunt of it. I think that's only a good thing, the bum is a nice muscle to tone up.
Lately this week I've watched a lot of fitness and bodybuilding videos. I wish I could compliment that by actually going to the gym. I was meaning to go today but due to my brother coming over and my own laziness of trying to make things work since friday I've not gotten to it. I resolve that I must definately go tomorrow. I won't be able to go on Tuesday (work), Wednesday (interview) or Thursday (Work + interning), so Monday and Friday are perhaps the best days. I'll also go on saturday but that's because I have a trainer session anyway. I need to show the trainer and myself that I've made progress, and I can't do that if I don't go to the gym. It would be so easy to stop going to the gym. It would be typical of many of the gym customers to just stop going out of laziness or their lack of determination to create a habit. I have so many 'good' reasons not to go tomorrow (being busy etc), but I absolutely must make time. I guess life is about making time. There are so many things going on and so many things to do that unless its written down or put on a plan, we never end up doing but just thinking.
Talking of thinking, I've been writing a lot more extensive articles on my academic blog. I went until 4am last night just writing. I needed to do more background research than I expected. All the same, I think I benefitted from writing last night. An hour of allocated time to blog took me nearly 3 hours.
Even though I've not gotten everything done these past few days, its a stretch to say that I've been lazy; my walking distances are the highest they've been, I've kept in social contact with many people (including family) and I am still sending out a few job applications.
I don't know when the last time I blogged was. I'll try to make time to blog on here, although not too much time of course.
This weekend has been a mix of indulgence and tidying up, more so the former than the latter. At the moment I've just sent off an application to a campaigning organisation. For some reason I've felt like I've not kept up with things. Perhaps because of Friday. I had this coughing fit on friday where as a result I was temporarily suffocated. Feeling that suffocation reminded me of the bliss of purging. When I used to purge, I'd have this suffocation fit where for a brief period of time I'd struggle for air and afterward I'd feel like I was in a totally different mood and a totally different emotional situation. It felt like bliss.
Someone reminded me yesterday that its okay to take a day off, or not have to follow the schedule all the time. Yesterday my brother came over and this afternoon I met up with some friends and we had some chinese, had some laughs and walked about. Another thing I should note is that partly because of the stressful running and walking of Friday, as well as a general increase in walking, my walking distance this week is the highest since records began (which is just under a year now). Keeping records helps me cope with disorientation. Facts and data are grounding things for me. My bum hurts, yes that's weird to say. My thighs have been pretty sore after all the activity of Friday and my buttocks have taken the brunt of it. I think that's only a good thing, the bum is a nice muscle to tone up.
Lately this week I've watched a lot of fitness and bodybuilding videos. I wish I could compliment that by actually going to the gym. I was meaning to go today but due to my brother coming over and my own laziness of trying to make things work since friday I've not gotten to it. I resolve that I must definately go tomorrow. I won't be able to go on Tuesday (work), Wednesday (interview) or Thursday (Work + interning), so Monday and Friday are perhaps the best days. I'll also go on saturday but that's because I have a trainer session anyway. I need to show the trainer and myself that I've made progress, and I can't do that if I don't go to the gym. It would be so easy to stop going to the gym. It would be typical of many of the gym customers to just stop going out of laziness or their lack of determination to create a habit. I have so many 'good' reasons not to go tomorrow (being busy etc), but I absolutely must make time. I guess life is about making time. There are so many things going on and so many things to do that unless its written down or put on a plan, we never end up doing but just thinking.
Talking of thinking, I've been writing a lot more extensive articles on my academic blog. I went until 4am last night just writing. I needed to do more background research than I expected. All the same, I think I benefitted from writing last night. An hour of allocated time to blog took me nearly 3 hours.
Even though I've not gotten everything done these past few days, its a stretch to say that I've been lazy; my walking distances are the highest they've been, I've kept in social contact with many people (including family) and I am still sending out a few job applications.
I don't know when the last time I blogged was. I'll try to make time to blog on here, although not too much time of course.
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