Thursday, July 16, 2009

Dreams I've been having

Some dreams I have lately been having:

1. Some involving car crashes, one involves how I find my mum incompetent at times, and I keep nagging her about what she is not good at, to stop doing. One dream involved me telling my mum that she is driving too fast, she then says something like: I've been driving for longer than you why should I listen to you. Lo and behold, she crashes.

2. Other dreams involve me not being good enough, or having high enough grades. My inadequacy is really strongly present and highlighted in my subconscious. Not only that, I project it on others when I dream, it is as if that is the most powerful way that they desecrate themselves. I project my own insecurities and fears. I try, in my dreams. I try to be 'stoic' with my emotions nowadays, not to show what I'm really thinking, feeling. If I ignore it or not give it any currency. I try to excise it from my body. The idea goes something like this: the failure of anger management is that embracing anger only fuel's more anger, likewise, embracing the pit of despair fully makes it worse (something I learned from experience).

The modus ponens also has a modus tollens: which is, avoiding those feelings really strong in you also takes away your disposition and desire to, embrace or indulge in them. Consider it like, emotional waxing, you pull it out, and even though it doesn't make it go away, it comes back less, and some of the seed of those negative feelings go away. The patch of hair comes back with fewer and and finer hairs.




No comments: