recovering from yesterday's low (slowly)

I'm a little anxious.

I'm not sure why.

Yesterday I got a bit depressed. I'm not sure why precisely, perhaps because I found out so many people I knew from university are making a name for themselves, here's a list of what I found out from this week:

• Former housemate - legal researcher and founding member of a legal aid type organisation
• Friend from university society - Sabattical officer, in a public debate situation to address the recent tuition fee increases
• Friend from university/grad school - protester made recently famous for organising a university occupation
• Postdoc at grad school - published a monograph earlier this month, it looks quite good. Perhaps an original contribution to scholarship.

Good for them I say. However, It didn't help me that I spent most of the day fucking around. Today is seemingly the same. At the moment the only thing on my mind is that I want to get new corduroys from uni-qlo, even though I can't afford it. I'm fuckedy fucked up. The boss is flying in late from Switzerland (how fucking glamorous) and we are going to have lunch in a couple of hours, I better get ready in about 45 mins, alas, I've not even planned the route. I'm still in a dressing gown and I dhaven't even brushed my teeth today. On the plus side I have read a lot of the items on GReader's starred list of websites that I was meaning to read, most of them were kinda academic so it's good to keep up the learning.

I got a bad feeling about the job I got interviewed for. The last thing I want is a rejection, but its the first thing that I always get. Especially before Xmas its not what I want to hear. Could you give me a break, lord? I'll start believing in you if you do...

Feeling depressed for a lot of yesterday was something I allowed myself to do. I guess it's important to attend to your needs and not suppress them. I feel better for letting out my feelings, and now I feel a little more proactive, not entirely proactive but I am improving a bit. I read a\ play, an epic poem and I finished The Secret Histories. I thought it sad how Richard (the narrator) is the only one who graduates. I also found it odd when the male narrator was ready  by the author (female). I couldn't take her masculinity seriously, I guess reading it for myself removes that bias.

For some reason I'm feeling ridiculously tired. I think I need to get into my clothes and hopefully strike up some excitement.

Oh, in other news there is a New Years party I've been invited to, it's a cool banker friend of mine and although I don't know him as well, it does sound pretty cool. The thing is, as it always is, I will get awkward and feel like the outsider. I'll leave yopu with this video for thought.

"How I Feel When I Go To Parties" Tales Of Mere Existence