Something weighed heavy on me this morning. I saw on facebook that my ex is having housing problems. The house she moved into flooded, and she has money problems and is couch surfing at the moment. Antonia is looking for another place to live. I feel bad for her, she doesn't really have parents to bail her out like I did plus she has a daughter.
I feel guilty, absolutely guilty, because I spent all morning lazing and once I actually did open my eyes I had a quickie. I thought my money problems were bad, I have an ISA to eat out of, and my parents gave me a £200 for passing GO at another year. I bought an xbox 360, trousers and thermal shirts from uniqlo, cinema tickets, a new 16-25 card and a pair of shoes for work (as my previous oxfords have broken at the sole). I feel like I've spent too much for things which are (with the noble exception of the xbox) necessary purchases. Antonia wouldn't have such a luxury. I don't need to worry about the gas bill as my parents cover it.
That guilt made me get out of bed and do my schedule. It's quite packed at the moment. I've done things on the schedule these past few days, but my mind has been elsewhere, like chinese food, xbox games and comics not least to mention the coming 'season'. Christmas isn't fun for everyone, and it is tragic to know that Antonia's child is in poverty. I feel guilty because I moved away. I feel guilty also because I want to not feel guilty and just get on with my schedule, with my life. I cannot be constructive with an emotional burden.
Perhaps guilt can motivate me to be proactive today.
I feel guilty, absolutely guilty, because I spent all morning lazing and once I actually did open my eyes I had a quickie. I thought my money problems were bad, I have an ISA to eat out of, and my parents gave me a £200 for passing GO at another year. I bought an xbox 360, trousers and thermal shirts from uniqlo, cinema tickets, a new 16-25 card and a pair of shoes for work (as my previous oxfords have broken at the sole). I feel like I've spent too much for things which are (with the noble exception of the xbox) necessary purchases. Antonia wouldn't have such a luxury. I don't need to worry about the gas bill as my parents cover it.
That guilt made me get out of bed and do my schedule. It's quite packed at the moment. I've done things on the schedule these past few days, but my mind has been elsewhere, like chinese food, xbox games and comics not least to mention the coming 'season'. Christmas isn't fun for everyone, and it is tragic to know that Antonia's child is in poverty. I feel guilty because I moved away. I feel guilty also because I want to not feel guilty and just get on with my schedule, with my life. I cannot be constructive with an emotional burden.
Perhaps guilt can motivate me to be proactive today.
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