I've been looking up uniersity prospectuses and funding details lately. I feel totally lost, confused and that makes me feel sad. I feel like I'm too old and I'vel ost the boat. I feel like I've wasted too much time and I've lost the oppurunities I fought so hard to believe were possible for me.
I'll tell you what the reality is, I'm living in my parent's house wearing lazy boy clothes typing about how shit my life is on a computer that is about 1.5 years out of its operational capacity. The computer is falling apart. It's held together by hope and a screwdriver, just like my life.
Is there any point to applying to jobs or this schedule? I feel utterly powerless and life doesn't seem to work for me at all. Yesterday and the day before, I felt awkwardness and anxiety as I entered the office and no one was there, my 'boss' didn't even give me a task. I felt like I was forgotten about. In addition, I've not got a reply from the counselling place about my proposed cancellation. This sucks.
I need to make my own luck. When I consider all the selves I've been in the past, I've probably learned the most out of all of them, not in terms of academical learning but in terms of life. Life lessons are things like being calm in a stressful situation and how to cope when life is shit. Perhaps this is my darkest hour, especially that I have no girlfriend to support me, or a guidance counsellor, or a disability adviser who could help me with my options when I felt depressed and lost.
I'm on my own. Now to find the shore.
I needed to get this thought out of me, so I can now carry on with my day.
I'll tell you what the reality is, I'm living in my parent's house wearing lazy boy clothes typing about how shit my life is on a computer that is about 1.5 years out of its operational capacity. The computer is falling apart. It's held together by hope and a screwdriver, just like my life.
Is there any point to applying to jobs or this schedule? I feel utterly powerless and life doesn't seem to work for me at all. Yesterday and the day before, I felt awkwardness and anxiety as I entered the office and no one was there, my 'boss' didn't even give me a task. I felt like I was forgotten about. In addition, I've not got a reply from the counselling place about my proposed cancellation. This sucks.
I need to make my own luck. When I consider all the selves I've been in the past, I've probably learned the most out of all of them, not in terms of academical learning but in terms of life. Life lessons are things like being calm in a stressful situation and how to cope when life is shit. Perhaps this is my darkest hour, especially that I have no girlfriend to support me, or a guidance counsellor, or a disability adviser who could help me with my options when I felt depressed and lost.
I'm on my own. Now to find the shore.
I needed to get this thought out of me, so I can now carry on with my day.
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