Saturday, January 1, 2011

hangover (post party)

Good ...afternoon?

I didn't just get up now. I woke up about an hour and a half ago. I did, to my credit, only sleep for about 6 hours. I went to sleep from about 6:15 probably. I put on some brahms, and my head just kept ticking over while I was drunk with various thoughts.

I think many of my thoughts were twoard the fact that being drunk was like being in an emotional safety cushion or emotional womb, where amniotic fluids protected me from what I was really feeling. I can understand why Chuck wanted to drink himself to death, I can understand why people feel they need to embrace that barrier to life. My life certainly sucks. I'm glad that even when I was drunk, I had a semblance of responsibility and control. Last night two friends of the host got half naked and near the point of nudity while dancing in front of us to various rock tunes.

I'm not quite sure what that means, but I think it meant that they were more drunk than us, and any embarrassing thing we did paled in comparison.

All things ocnsidered I had a reserved hangover and I only puked a little bit, and it was more forced than involuntary. Looking at the headlines, I'm quite glad we found a reason to party. The world doesn't seem as nice a place. I just saw a report that the CBI predicts difficult economic times ahead, in addition it looks like there will be a related price rise in the VAT increase. I never thought that such matters of money and economics would worry me so much, but with all that goes on it affects me. More VAT means things will be expensive, when I have little money already, that's not a great situation.

I hate saying this and in fact I cringe that it sounds like the voice of inaction: hopefully come tomorrow I'll have the New Years and Christmas spirit out of me and i'll knuckle down to some applications and activity. There, that wasn't so hard.

I have to stop my musings and get dressed. I've got a second party to go to.

All I need now is a lovely life companion.



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