Sunday, January 16, 2011

Change (Cocteau Twins in the afternoon)

Good afternoon.

Yes I got up late. I finished late last night, I was off my computer tasks by about midnight and I got lost in terms of time because I got occupied by a few minor tasks. Today I'm back to normal. My fatigue has passed me and now I'm back to sedentary wanking and searching for jobs. Somehow that kind of normality doesn't seem as appealing.

Anyway, I'm slowly completing a whole lot of tasks that I'd consider as overflow from next week. I'm completing next week's smaller tasks to free up space, and with luck, I might be able to do some jobs today. I'm listening to Cocteau Twins at the moment. Antonia used to really like them and she told me about how during the 90s when her life was uncertain and unstable, her musical interests reflected a certain kind of melancholy that is distinctly British and 90s. My brother had similar music tastes and because I inherited his CD collection as MP3s last year, I feel a sort of affinity to the 90s. The 90s for me was a very different decade for me than it was for her, mainly because of the age difference. My teenaged years were in the 00s while her 20s were in the 00s. Ugh. I am in my 20s, I hate that thought. I hate being a proper adult, especially one that lives with his parents.

Anyway,  I'm quite glad that I didn't gain any weight between yesterday and today (I hope that salad comes out easily). I'm also quite glad that I applied to a fair few jobs. I'm also glad that I've got an oppurtunity today to get on with my schedule and clear things up.

I used to be the sort of person who let things linger, and never wanted to deal with them head on but let someone else deal with it. I'd be the one in the crowd who lets other people do everything. I'm changing but still a little like that, I've got much to work on but I do hope I change. Yesterday morning when I was visualising what needed to be different for me to change in the past, I realised that what needed to change did change a little bit in me. This very thought is giving me an  idea for writing a short story. I've been thinking about doing some creative writing for quite a while.

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