Monday, January 3, 2011

Good news and bad news

The good news: I was paid early
The bad news: I've been taxed out of my brown arse, its not even enough for 3 counselling sessions. I'm le fucked. To put it into context. My dad gave me gratuity money (that is his way of saying 'here, buy some trousers') and thats' almost the same amount as I was paid. I'm royally fucked. Fuckedy fucked.

I'm going to have to either go back to the job centre, or I'm going to take a bite from the ISA. I really don't like doing that. My parents are going to be pisssed. I need to keep the secret that I'm going to counselling, but also find a way to make ends meet.

I'm going to go out tonight. Why? I suppose because I need some outlet. I feel so fucking angry, disappointed and fucked. I guess I could find comfort in the tequila I kept in my wardrobe. I just hope my soundcard, or some other aspect of my laptop keels over. I need to aim to get a job soon. What is a realistic expectation of life? I've been applying to jobs for the past two or so years and I've not got a single full time offer. I've got a part time job, two internship offers (one I took) and did voluntary work twice. It almost sounds like I'm a useful member of the community of life, but I feel invalid and empty.

Maybe if I were a giggalo I'd have more money to sort my life out. An escort, or a model, a sexy floozy. Maybe I'd get to keep the clothes. Well, for consolation I could play xbox. That is, when my parents aren't using the tv. Ugh. 

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