I woke up late today. Tut tut, I know. After yesterday's early one, I ruined it by falling asleep at 6pm and waking up around 9pm. I felt very tired and that was in no small part exascerbated by the weather during my travelling today.
I have just applied some curanail on my toes. It's one of my weekly rituals. I figure my toe weirdness is going to go away after a year or so if I keep using this anti-fungal stuff. It's horribly embarrassing, but not as embarrassing as my dad's feet. I heard my dad in the toilet retching a whole lot of catarrh and phlegm. Apparently my dad has some bacterial issue that relates to the ashma he has. It's shame
Talking about flawed people, I had a night terror moment last night. In the lead up to when I was going to sleep, I was re-living memories. Lately I've been re-living memories about things I've never wanted to think about: my undergraduate years.
In those thoughts I felt incredibly lost and I saw so many of my flaws and I relived the pain of those days. My only consolation was that tomorrow was another day, so I chose to just live in this ship until the storm fades.
And it did, to some extent. Although I woke up late today, I realised that every day is one of potential. I must try to keep that in my mind as much as I can, hopefully I'll then reach for a decent target. Something else that boosted my self esteem is that I lost another lb between yesterday and today. I hope I am on the right track to lose weight for the end of march. I want to reach 220, then maybe if that's possible. I'll aim for 200, maybe once I get to 180 I'll start to look a little bit normal although I do have fairly large shoulders, I think that's an attractive masculine trait, though.
I need a target for weight loss, it will give me hope and will serve as a sort of proof that another life is possible.
With that said, I am going back to work.
Wish me luck.
I have just applied some curanail on my toes. It's one of my weekly rituals. I figure my toe weirdness is going to go away after a year or so if I keep using this anti-fungal stuff. It's horribly embarrassing, but not as embarrassing as my dad's feet. I heard my dad in the toilet retching a whole lot of catarrh and phlegm. Apparently my dad has some bacterial issue that relates to the ashma he has. It's shame
Talking about flawed people, I had a night terror moment last night. In the lead up to when I was going to sleep, I was re-living memories. Lately I've been re-living memories about things I've never wanted to think about: my undergraduate years.
In those thoughts I felt incredibly lost and I saw so many of my flaws and I relived the pain of those days. My only consolation was that tomorrow was another day, so I chose to just live in this ship until the storm fades.
And it did, to some extent. Although I woke up late today, I realised that every day is one of potential. I must try to keep that in my mind as much as I can, hopefully I'll then reach for a decent target. Something else that boosted my self esteem is that I lost another lb between yesterday and today. I hope I am on the right track to lose weight for the end of march. I want to reach 220, then maybe if that's possible. I'll aim for 200, maybe once I get to 180 I'll start to look a little bit normal although I do have fairly large shoulders, I think that's an attractive masculine trait, though.
I need a target for weight loss, it will give me hope and will serve as a sort of proof that another life is possible.
With that said, I am going back to work.
Wish me luck.
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