No, the title does not refer to me.
Often I think about, or laugh at the people I either despise the most, or whom I'm most afraid of turning into. My dad, in some respect, is one of them. My dad is fat, lazy and today it came to a bit of a head. My mother was pointing out how he shuold really make an effort to lose weight; what he then did was act in a defensive way. I decided to get my place into this issue and just told him upfront three things:
1. You are fat
2. Are you willing to change and push yourself? (suggestion, that he was not)
3. If you aren't willing to change and push yourself, what example are you setting to your grandson; what kind of example are you giving to him as to how one should be?
My mum then said to let the issue go. I realised that I said what I could in as most an articulate way as I could, and I took leave. My dad has a habit of drawing me into my most flawed of states. I used to have friends who also did this to me. My dad is a lot like me, or perhaps vice versa; if we could get away with it, we would just let things linger and do nothing about it.
I don't feel that I am entitled to saying things about my character unless I have some kind of evidence to show for it. In that sense, I am as much a hypocrite telling him to lose weight and make a change than anyone else. Sometimes I find the criticisms put to me as the most powerful ones, such that I use them when I think about critiquing other people. It is a limitation of one's thinking to apply one's personal experience immediately to a third-personal generic context.
I find my heart heavy presently. Often in these times I would just pause and mull about things, have internal discussions that I would never remember again and have this delusion that I had gained some inner wisdom. The inner wisdom comes from callouses by real life; not by sitting in a darkened room and staring out of the window.
If I am to admit something it is this: I hate my life. Now that I've said it, I will move forward from here.
Often I think about, or laugh at the people I either despise the most, or whom I'm most afraid of turning into. My dad, in some respect, is one of them. My dad is fat, lazy and today it came to a bit of a head. My mother was pointing out how he shuold really make an effort to lose weight; what he then did was act in a defensive way. I decided to get my place into this issue and just told him upfront three things:
1. You are fat
2. Are you willing to change and push yourself? (suggestion, that he was not)
3. If you aren't willing to change and push yourself, what example are you setting to your grandson; what kind of example are you giving to him as to how one should be?
My mum then said to let the issue go. I realised that I said what I could in as most an articulate way as I could, and I took leave. My dad has a habit of drawing me into my most flawed of states. I used to have friends who also did this to me. My dad is a lot like me, or perhaps vice versa; if we could get away with it, we would just let things linger and do nothing about it.
I don't feel that I am entitled to saying things about my character unless I have some kind of evidence to show for it. In that sense, I am as much a hypocrite telling him to lose weight and make a change than anyone else. Sometimes I find the criticisms put to me as the most powerful ones, such that I use them when I think about critiquing other people. It is a limitation of one's thinking to apply one's personal experience immediately to a third-personal generic context.
I find my heart heavy presently. Often in these times I would just pause and mull about things, have internal discussions that I would never remember again and have this delusion that I had gained some inner wisdom. The inner wisdom comes from callouses by real life; not by sitting in a darkened room and staring out of the window.
If I am to admit something it is this: I hate my life. Now that I've said it, I will move forward from here.
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