I often use the phrase 'higher function' to denote a certain optimal human performance.
As I've mentioned many times previously; some days present difficulties as small as getting out of bed, or brushing one's teeth, or shaving (which reminds me...)
These past few days have gotten better in terms of what i'd like to call higher function.
A higher functioning person is not as affected by mood, a higher functioning person is able to deal with surprise, changes, or unexpected changes of plan.
I apologise for my lack of articulation today, I feel a bit of a weight presenting itself to me.
TOday I'm a bit behind in my job search, but that is mainly because there's been a death in the family. Its a guy who I may have mentioned in previous posts. He's not technically a relative, but he may well be one. My parents are being supportive especially since we are neighbours to the parents of the person. The guy is about the same age as my sister.
His life was tragic, his death was mysterious. When people die, we often speak of the potential they could have had, or the wonderful contribution they gave, or the legacy they left behind. He has none of those. I called him a loser. Now he's just lost.
His death has altered a few plans I've had this week and I've had to stop a few things or delay them. That's necessary and inevitable in a way. Its the least amount of disturbance, considering the magnitude of the event.
I think I'll miss him. And I'll spend many months thinking about him. My friends are probably getting bored of me talking about him. I feel like I need to talk about him. About his life, about my memories of him. Seeing myself in his life, and seeing him in my life.
People are starting to blame each other now. Full of 'if only' statements. I always said to myself that I'd hate myself if I ever lived in 'if only's.
These past few days, I have been rigorously monitoring my food intake. I'm going to lose weight. One pound at a time. Fight for each pound. This battle isn't just on the jogging route; it is, more importantly, in my diet. I've reached about 1/4 of my daily allowance. If I undereat, I'll consider it a delight. Yesterday, I think I just about reached my target intake; the day before, I just about exceeded it.
The way I see it is like this: I'm full of poo, orange fatty deposits inside my body are going to stay there unless I change the balance of what I put into my body. What will come out will occur as a matter of my heart constantly ticking.
I'm going to lose that weight, and I'm going to improve my life. I'm not going to be like that guy who died. Full of eternal 'if only's
As I've mentioned many times previously; some days present difficulties as small as getting out of bed, or brushing one's teeth, or shaving (which reminds me...)
These past few days have gotten better in terms of what i'd like to call higher function.
A higher functioning person is not as affected by mood, a higher functioning person is able to deal with surprise, changes, or unexpected changes of plan.
I apologise for my lack of articulation today, I feel a bit of a weight presenting itself to me.
TOday I'm a bit behind in my job search, but that is mainly because there's been a death in the family. Its a guy who I may have mentioned in previous posts. He's not technically a relative, but he may well be one. My parents are being supportive especially since we are neighbours to the parents of the person. The guy is about the same age as my sister.
His life was tragic, his death was mysterious. When people die, we often speak of the potential they could have had, or the wonderful contribution they gave, or the legacy they left behind. He has none of those. I called him a loser. Now he's just lost.
His death has altered a few plans I've had this week and I've had to stop a few things or delay them. That's necessary and inevitable in a way. Its the least amount of disturbance, considering the magnitude of the event.
I think I'll miss him. And I'll spend many months thinking about him. My friends are probably getting bored of me talking about him. I feel like I need to talk about him. About his life, about my memories of him. Seeing myself in his life, and seeing him in my life.
People are starting to blame each other now. Full of 'if only' statements. I always said to myself that I'd hate myself if I ever lived in 'if only's.
These past few days, I have been rigorously monitoring my food intake. I'm going to lose weight. One pound at a time. Fight for each pound. This battle isn't just on the jogging route; it is, more importantly, in my diet. I've reached about 1/4 of my daily allowance. If I undereat, I'll consider it a delight. Yesterday, I think I just about reached my target intake; the day before, I just about exceeded it.
The way I see it is like this: I'm full of poo, orange fatty deposits inside my body are going to stay there unless I change the balance of what I put into my body. What will come out will occur as a matter of my heart constantly ticking.
I'm going to lose that weight, and I'm going to improve my life. I'm not going to be like that guy who died. Full of eternal 'if only's
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