Sunday, January 31, 2010

Two kinds of girls

There are two kinds of girls, of course there are probably more like 3 billion kinds of girls. I'll make an artificial taxonomy:

Girls similar to me

  • Depressive
  • Dark
  • Intensely sexual/emotional (or the complete opposite, but equally intense)
  • Tall, glamourous
  • Seems to be marked in a certain kind of way that not only makes her unique, but the best of her kind, or some kind of elite
  • Intellectual
  • Possible goth/ex goth
  • Wide ranging interests
  • They like me and probably see me as a certain kind of boy (i say boy not man)
  • Threatens me

this kind of girl I hopelessly idolise, but I dont think they are very good for me. I have to note that their opposite will share characteristics.

The 'opposite' to me (at least in a significant domain of my life)

  • Possibly emotional
  • Loves nature over technology
  • Hates technology
  • Possible hippy
  • Sexual, perhaps used to be sexually crazy but has calmed down
  • used to be crazy but calmed down
  • High maintenance
  • High strung
  • Doesn't like depressive mindsets
  • Has an incompatible music taste with me
  • Isn't very intellectual, but is possibly quite smart/smarter than me
  • Isn't an elite, but has some aspects or many of proletarian
  • Doesn't threaten me
  • Positive, bright, cheery

For good measure, and an acceptance of my maturity, here are features of the dream girl who I will accept doesn't exist or if she does exist I dont like her for other reasons (or suspect she's me in drag):

  • Has identical music interests
  • Has identical intellectual or relevantly similar so much that its creepy, academic interests
  • Shares some aspect of my cultural background (minority background, catholic school, grad school, same unviersity...) and yet shares the same outlook as me
  • Likes depressives, possibly has depressive aspects, but is positive.
  • Compliments my weaknesses with strengths, and I may do the same for her
  • Someone who will let me love them with everything
  • Someone I can love like someone so close to me they are practically family (in a non creepy incest way)
  • Someone who I can get along with their friends, and they my friends and family
  • Someone I'm not in some minor respect embarrassed about (like skeletons in closet)
  • Someone who challenges me in the way that I like to be challenged.
In other words, my equal, but opposite.

Isn't that what we all look for? Equally special enough, but different so much that like a jigsaw piece, you have a hole she can plug; and she has a hole I can plug in and out repeatedly until my jigsaw wick spews out seminal jigsaw baby fluid and then I lay in bed talking bullshit that is important to me that I'd never tell anyone else but would feel so open with I could say anything. Someone I could not hide anything from.

Could I ever tell someone about this blog that I could also love? I don't think so. I need secrets.

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