Sunday, January 17, 2010

One rung above a lazy sunday

Jamie called last night. She invited me to see an exhibit at my favourite museum. Although its not my favourite exhibit. I then felt a bit of an anxiety attack to how sudden it all had happened. I just got a call, and then she asked me out. I said yes, and said farewell. This is very scary. I felt like things are happening so quickly. I'm also scared that I'm doing it right. I'm possibly scared that things seem to be going well despite the fact that I don't think I made a good impression on the first date. I was so nervous and I don't think I'll get any less nervous around her.

About an hour ago I started thinking about Antonia, about how I felt and that I miss her dearly. I went for a jog today, it was an hour, 6.5k and just under 4 miles. After the jog ended, I felt physically tired and my lungs burning. I then succumbed to those negative thoughts. A clean shower and a good meal later. I am here sitting up and getting on with my sunday routine. Sunday is a day when I set very simple but important tasks. Today I am going through my receipts and entering all my transactions. As well as that I am going through a fair few memories that come from these events. I haven't done a data entry on my receipts for a while. I'm getting a few memories from the past 3-4 months. Many of which aren't great.

I feel like when I jog I am embracing change; I change as a person, enact that determined part of me. I cannot say I am determined a person unless I jog, or push myself. I feel quite lazy and tired and listless at times, and I try my very best to fight it. I feel that this week has been a successful achievement of surviving through difficult moods and laziness. I did the bare minimum, but I did do important administrative tasks and not let them bury me over.

As I pause in my data entry task, with a slightly relaxed evening ahead (albeit a busy one); I think to myself. I think to myself if things are going to improve if I keep going. I suppose the answer I want to hear is yes. Life seems to be a merciless challenge. In this next week I shall consider doing more job applications, finishing and submitting my book review, going on the date (of course) and possibly applying to the local gym for a 6 month pass.

I was meant to go to two more social events (I saw this thing on meetup.com and a friend invited me out), but due to my low cash situation I could not go to either. Being the gentlement in a date really does max out your debit card. It was worth it for a cute girl.

Back to work. My feet really hurt from jogging, although I haven't been for 2-3 weeks i did go at a good pace.

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