Weekly review

Week 12 of the year

Priority targets to achieve

1. 5 fitness sessions
2. 0 jobs applied
3. No interviews this week

Non-Priority targets

1. Read a lot of comics (no audiobooks)
2. 3 music sessions
3. New and unfamiliar sessions:
1. Cooking for Badminton with limited time
2. Received sentinel placement (multimedia)
3. Started sentinel placement (multimedia)
4. Saw guy from my school
5. Clarinet and jam session in a day
6. Party at friend's tonight
7. Post-party at mine

Observations

1. 2 Anxiety Days
2. 2 Fatigue days
3. 2 Stupour Days
4. 1 Low Days
5. 4 paid work days

4 paid work days...I don't get that in a month sometimes. What's that old saying? Count your blessings. I've not had the best luck. But I have also not had the worst. I'm thankful for the good stuff...hopeful for better stuff to come.

I have done lots of socialising this week. I've done lots of interactions with new people this week (esp. at work) and I feel like I have endured a few emotional challenges. I've faced the disappointment of the job rejections.

This week has been about me managing my limits. I couldn't do as much gym as I'd like. I couldn't catch up with job searching and leisurely things without compromising on my housework duties. I thought that if I kept up on my housework duties foremost then I could feel a sense of satisfaction.

Looking ahead

Looking ahead, I see that there's a whole lot of activity going on this week, and last week, and to some extent, the week before. However come wednesday, I'll have 3 straight weeks of no work. Then one day. Then another straight week of no work. I could have time for interviews, I could have time for job hunting and all the other stuff. I could have time for the gym.

To be honest, the distant future after Wednesday is a big empty time hole with not much whatever I will to fill into it.

Tomorrow is going to be hectic as shit at work. I'll find out if I am working on Wednesday.

I'm not saying that I dislike the quiet. I am also not saying that I dislike when it's extremely busy. I think I'll look forward to it being quiet again. I will also really miss not earning that amount of money that I have in the previous few weeks.

I've not felt like myself lately. I have been soul searching recently and I've not come to any definite or strong conclusions about what's going on inside me.

I feel like I am fighting new demons alongside the old ones. l also feel like I don't know how to commensurate the person I am today with the person that I was. Perhaps I am willing to put to the past who I was. I need to focus on the now, despite how shit it is and despite how ...the past me would have hated the person I am now.

I probably should focus on going to bed right now and sleeping. I feel like I need some kind of resolution or emotional-psychic epiphany to clear my foresight of the future. But such a thing doesn't exist and all I have is a headache and the ambient fan of my computer in the background.

Off to bed.

Onwards