dear diary,

 

got a call back from the disability unit at my university. they have my records. Apparently they have a hundred + pages of documents. it's a veritable dossier. Some of it goes back to my childhood. I remember being taken out of school, I remember occupational therapy. I remember being taken to a special needs type school and one guy kept saying 'di matteo' (a popular footballer of the time) repeatedly. 

When I dig into these childhood memories, when even alluding to them, it upsets me. 

It's not who i am not, but it is, it is who I used to be. That defined who I am now.