What I've been up to lately (a pretty meaningless post title as every post is about that)

I've been invited to a PhD interview. I was thinking about not going, but now I am thinking of going. In addition I am going to my uncle's 1 year anniversary mass, might stay over with Antonia, or at my aunt's. I'm now working on saturday evening, so afterwards I'm going to have to work. Thursday morning will involve me doing to the north for university, then after that I'll make my way to work. I'm not sure its wise to make my way home after work on account of the lack of time. I'm going to have to make a plan for Thursday, and Saturday. Maybe friday too.

 

Come sunday the hard stuff will be past me. Then I can relax. I said that last week and I still haven't applied to any jobs since then. Yesterday I can't remember what happened. It's a bit of a daze. I think I went to work, then I went home, made some calls to the university, then I went to spinning class. Then I went to Pilates, after doing some lunges. My body was pretty fucked after that, but in a good way. I had a really good sleep last night after that, I didnt have a care in the world because I knew that I did the hard stuff. Today I have to do the hard stuff but I'm hesitating too much.

 

I'm glad I'm busy. It means I am forced not to be in a stupour. Even when I am in a stupour. I've got to keep pushing and keep going. I feel the sad feelings inside me, I feel a lot of intense emotions. Now I need to just get on with the boring stuff and plan.

 

Another worry on my mind is money. I can't afford stuff at the moment. I'm going to have to do that very bad thing and withdraw cash from my ISA. Need to buy tickets for going up north, and then tickets to the midlands... Money is worrying me. Money is fucking with my head. However, getting an extra shift means an extra £40, plus I found out I can be reimbursed for the traveling on the train, and I can get a snack on expenses! This aids my anxiety.

Badminton later. I'm thinking of doing a double barbarian tonight of badminton + body balance. I've also found out (surprise) that I'm seeing Radiohead. So much going on...this is almost feeling like I'm living a normal life. I'm not normal though.