Tuesday, November 4, 2014

when I was working last week at the multimedia office and the TV/Radio supplement at The Sentinel, I had these moments where everything caved in on me at work, that there was so much to do and I just simply had to power through it all.

Right now. I'm thinking about the following:

  • Did my manager at SHambly read my email correctly when I said I'm dropping out of the PM shift and not the AM shift next friday? (I'll assume competence)
  • I'm worried about the interview tomorrow, that I have very little time to prep for
  • Need to prep for the interview TONIGHT
  • Got to do other things, like, prep for the interview next monday. 
  • Got to prep for the interview where I have an orientation session on Friday, but the actual interview is in under 3 weeks.
So this morning I was invited to 2 interviews. One of which is tomorrow (and I'm having help with) and the other is next monday (I said that already). 

I have a lot swirling in my head right now. And I'm not prepared to deal with it all. I'm not prepared to face all of this.

BUt I have to. and I have to somehow shine despite all the things against me.

I don't really want the job. That probably says I won't get it. 

I really, really want to purge right now.

In other news, my reaction to food (after taking the inhaler meds) has gotten so bad that I vomited into an empty plate and I felt so sick from having to clean it up that I vomited again after looking at the plate. Perhaps a lot of my recent vomiting from the food reactions have been triggering a lot of feelings about purging, as non-bulimic vomiting does invariably remind me of purging. 

Anyway. I need to do other shift now so I can't blog.

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