Every 3 weeks I set a moment for myself to write something creative. Like a poem or prose stream of consciousness thing that I keep in my private drive. I thought instead tonight I might write a blog post. THe aim of which is to say something distinctly personal, intimate and emotional.

I'm scared. I'm scared of a future that wasn't as bright as I imagined it would be.

I'm worried about money. I'm worried about my health and I'm worried about the limited prospects that I have in life.

I've been quite tired lately but I also have been leading an active life. Perhaps more active than it has been in previous years. Despite this I know there's an upper echelon to reach.

By Thursday night I will have needed to read 400 pages of a social science textbook for my interview.

This week that has just passed was the anniversary for' that day'. I think that I started the blog some time after 'that day'. As such, it is the one thing that frames a lot of my life.

I might write a list right now. A list of 3 positives I can say about my week, and 3 'things for improvement':

Positives

• Went for an interview this week. I need to do more of those
• I did 9 hours of physical/fitness related activities
• I managed a lot of anxiety at work and challenging circumstances with management

Things for improvement

• Maybe I shouldn't have spent 2 days playing Civilisation: Beyond Earth where I could have done some reading
• I could have read more of the textbook
• I could have maybe eaten more greens this week. 

I might write an emotional email to my pen pal babefiend now. I love telling her things.