Dear Diary,

I woke up intermittently today...but I only properly got up at 3pm. My body feels wrecked right now. I wish I knew why.

It might be that I've done 5 hours of fitness related activities this week, or it might just be that laziness begets laziness.

I feel like I need to do something constructive but my brain is slow right now.

Last night, my friend from the garden that i've called 'activist girl' told me that we had a mutual friend from the past...but turns out she was a sexual predator. I feel a big head fuck about it and it's really weird how she and I have this link through someone else.

Activist girl and I have messaged a lot lately. It's weird bercause she sort of reminds me of someone inside me. Or at least, one of many options.

I checked my weight today. I've not checked in al ong time. Turns out that I am 20lbs heavier. That's not good. I would like to lose 40lbs, ideally 60lbs. In a real world situation that would have to take about a year of losing a lb a week to do. I don't usually go on the weighing measurements.

I'm also thinking that some of it is muscle mass...but not that belly...maybe 60lbs is a tall order to lose weight (might even lose muscle). But I do want to lose fat. I'd love to be the weight of dwayne johnson, but with the muscles of dwayne johnson.

Anyway. Better get on with something else.