one thing about being around mum and dad so much is that there are things i see about their lives. Today is Eileen's birthday, of course she's dead, but on this day we remember her life, maybe the birthday she might have had. Today is also my uncle's anniversary, its' nearly 20 years now since he died. I think of his kids, my cousin, on a day like this. Must be hard for them. It's been so much of their lives without him. 

I think that despite the sunny weather of this day, there is a dark cloud hanging over the family at the moment.

 

In other news, I've sent a fuckload of applications, done my job searching. Might take a break. 

 

Oh fuck, I forgot something. I can't remember what time the psychologist appointment was.