Monday, June 22, 2009

THe ultimate investment

There are a lot of things that construct what I feel, how I approach the world and how I find my own sense of definition.

I can listen to a lot of negative voices when I'm going through the day. Often I cannot afford to ignore such voices. Isn't it odd how we can be positive and supportive and say nicer things to people we know, compared to people we don't I tried to change that about me. I have tried to change a lot of aspects about me. Who am I at the core? I suppose that always changes. I wonder to myself how much I really stay the same, I suppose there are some aspects of me which have steadfastly stayed the same. Especially my flaws.

I got angry at my dad today. I said "don't open my mail", he replied "I know what it is". I don't really think it makes a difference about whether he knows what it is or not to counternance the principle of 'do not open private mail. My parents in some respects see me as an investment. I suppose to an extent, children are an investment. AN investment of aspirations, of passing on ideals and a bit of yourself. THen kids come up to bite and get angry and it seems like the investment has backfired. I get that.

I feel like I am a failed asset. All those books, supporting me during this terrible year of unemployment and PhD rejection.

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