Saturday, June 27, 2009

accidie again

I woke up relatively early, applied, did some background reading on employers, set some GCal tasks, had break-lunch (namely, sausages and hash browns). Then after finishing and a bit of waiting I went out for another one of my 'big jogs'. The distance was 7.4km or just around 4 miles. When I got back, I felt a bit of pain and also immense heat. This had subsided quite quickly. I then started watching another tv series on the streaming tv. Terminator this time. I kind of have a terminator 'thing' at the moment.

I realise how my music interests are quite variable by my mood. If I listen to something enough, or too much, or for a while, it becomes stale. My test of music is that if I can get back to the formerly 'stale' music and find freshness in it, then it's a keeper. If it is immediately good listening, but after 2nd or 3rd listening I hate it, then it's terrible and kneejerk sentimentality. Evanescence and the emo stuff is like that, nice first listen, okay second listening, but after a while, it's like having a neon bright pair of trousers and trainers in your cupboard. These teenagers of today may think it's cool, but its going to get outdated pretty quickly.

I had this conversation a year ago with a girl, I probably even mentioned it here. My question was; are there things that I have worn and that I wear now that will be outdated? I try to stay away from the centre of cool, but away from the ambiguous pale of the uncool. I keep it plain, that's how I like my clothes. It's kind of hollywood too, I realise.

Protagonists in my favourite shows often dress plainly, not necessarily to the time, but in a way that is timeless, normal, efficient (ie. you can get into a fist fight, car chase, fight a cyborg, or walk into a bar) and personal.

Don't get me wrong, I like to find a person in the clothes. The person in me is changing, I suppose that leads to a change in my clothes. I bought new trainers last week, they are Nikes. I haven't bought a pair of N's for nearly 10 years. There was a time when I thought Nikes, Adidas' and Reeboks' were like some kind of royalty of shoes. I thought them the gold standard of acceptability, and the finest of wear.

What does this tell me? I could have been a 90s pikey or 00s chav.

Im currently typing while laying down. I feel a drain in motivation. I often feel the need to post if I'm distressed, busy, but never bored out of my mind or if I have little motivation. I like talking but I have no one really to talk to except my girlfriend and even then I have to go and visit her. My social skills perhaps have taken a turn for the worse and there has been a change, a shift in me, that reflects this current lifestyle of limbonics that I have right now.

I hope that after I have a wank and cum, I will get to doing a bit more. It is 6pm and I feel that I still have things a-doing today.

3 comments:

Jessica said...

Hey I like Evanescence, well some of their songs anyway. I sometimes listening to them when I'm jogging.

Go visit your girlfriend instead of wanking, might go a long way to help with your social skills.

Jess

M said...

I visit my girlfriend a fair amount. I spend almost half the week with her. I should cut down on wanking, though

Jessica said...

Too much wanking might desensitise you and that might mean you couldn't perform when required, I don't think that would help your feelings towards yourself.

But hey I'm a lesbian and single so what do I know!