Wednesday, June 24, 2009

pressures

I need to find a job, soon.

I need to work out where I am going to live after the contract ends. I was worried about a bill that was ages ago and not related to any actual bill. My girlfriend said that if I move back to my parents, she is going to leave me in the expectation that the relationship will not work out. If I decide to move in with her, I will have to be dependent on her, and I'm not sure how long it will take to find a job.

Its up to me to make my own luck. It is up to me to find some kind of solution. Am I powerless, can I go out there and actually and successfully find a job? Or am I doomed to not only losing my job, but the source of my own wellbeing.

I wish something worked out. Im too complacent with how things are presently. What I need is to work out my life and find a solution. Or, once again, everything is lost. My girlfriend is not particularly supportive, she isn't even thinking of my own aspirations, my hopes or my goals. SHe just wants me for who she wants me to be. Does she not see that she loses me if she does that?

I'm stuck. Although I know what the solution is. Hold on to the rope and pull myself up. Once again, it is all dependent on me. That is how I must see this situation. I must not see this situation as me being out of control.


No comments: