Wednesday, April 1, 2009

still ill, still shit

I have had another vomiting fit earlier. I removed some poorly cooked food from my system. I kind of like vomiting. It makes me feel a sense of achievement. I partly miss the purging. I hope this illness has made my weight decrease.

I recieved a facebook intrusion from an old friend; I'm embarrassed to reply, cos he's a hotshot and I'm in a shithole right now. My life feels pretty horrid right now and I am bathing in this physical pain to forget about my wider calamity. It's nice to be back home with my parents although I do not like the way that they undermine me. I am also having spontaneous excretory problems which is wholly unpleasant. The 8-week mark has passed for the one university I am yet to hear from.

When I think about it candidly, I know that I will be rejected and yet there is a part of me which tries to find a reason to believe that they will give an offer. I wonder: do rejections get sent out sooner than offers?

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