Monday, September 1, 2014

Dear Diary,

I went on a date yesterday with Hannah. Hannah and I went to visit city of london, st pauls and then we went to the science museum in kensington. It was a great day, we had a lot of laughs, plus I got to see Newton and Leibniz.

One of the running jokes was: why is Newton in every exhibit in the science museum. If it were up to me the science museum would only have Newton and Turing and dancing bears on poles. But that's just my imagination.

So I'm really behind on my applications, really behind. I need to get my shit together. If I'm brutally honest I have control issues, namely a lack of control...I'm wanking way too much and chatting to some new women on fetlife, and I am also snacking way too much and it kind of makes my head swirl in a dizzy kind of way where it's comparable to me being drunk.

In fact I think gorging on junk food affects my brain worse than alcohol...something weird happens to my brain and I need to 'quit' it.

So I've got stuff to do today. I got some emails from Shambly asking for extra shifts. Extra shifts mean more money. I'm a bit down lately because I was approached to do a 1 week assignment at The Sentinel, but I had to say 'no' because I'm working 2 days that week and I can't cancel. I'm a PA for the sunday Sentinel next week and it wouldn't be good to say 'no thanks' to that.

I'm going to try and be focussed. You know what...I shouldn't channel what I'm going to do by saying 'I'm going to...' because I've been doing it too fucking much without any outcome.

In other news, today is september 1st...the day I started purging in 2007, before I started my masters.

September 1st is kind of like my september 11th, the day everything in my life changed, and fucked up. But like september 11th, it's probable that there are further antecedents that caused the chin of events that followed.

Anyway, onwards.

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