This weekend:
Made a networking visit. Did some training. Went to the cinema, went out with the boys. Sunday: not much going on. Just recovering, eating and resting. Not even that much masturbating. Too tired. I feel a lingering sense of disappointment.
I saw a film just now that I really wanted to see. At the same time I was going through some of the news stories. I drank a little bit of the scotch Irish Whiskey that I got from work. I didn't even drink a finger. It's enough to make me feel drowsy. I've got work tomorrow. I should try to keep it all together for that. Then After 3 I'm off the clock for another week. Maybe, just maybe I can find some time to get shit done.
In a way I'm behind, in another way I've done more this week than I've ever done. In other ways, I just don't give a shit. I kind of feel like a sylvester stallone character: don't get a shit, just need to move forward. Cut losses and hang on.
I'm so tired. I'm fucking tired of life. I'm fucking tired of how my job situation is holding back my life. I'm fucking tired of not getting into full time work. I'm fucking tired of disappointtment. I don't deserve disappointment. I am fucking tired of the real world.No more whiskey for tonight, I didn't even drink a tiny cap full. Just need to get on. Just need to carry on. Just need to pull through. Just need to hit all the fucking bases.
Piece of shit life. I fucking hate it. I'm not dying yet, though. Not fucking yet. Never fucking close.
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